Scribblings from Sarajevo

K, Well, Time to Move.

2010-02-17T11:05:00.003-05:00

Good morning Dear Reader,

I had to laugh at myself for thinking we might get a little less snow here in Virginia. While we missed the first 20 inches that were dropped on VA before Christmas, we have had the opportunity to experience 18 inches at the beginning of this month, plus another 5 two days later, and then another 3 inches a few days after that. I haven't had much need to go out of the house, as working from home allows me that flexibility, but today, I dropped Wiley off at work, and I had to laugh at all the snow mounds. Every. single. person. I've talked to here has said this winter is atypical. We may have beaten the snowfall record from 14 years ago. It's pretty, but I'm pretty much done with snow. I'm really gunning for spring. Skyline Drive is on my list of things to see, and it's been closed due to all the snow.

So, anyway, I wanted to publicly announce my new blog, Va Valley Girl. I've written a few posts already. There will be more pictures, I'm sure, once the snow clears. Enjoy!

Settling In.

2010-01-18T13:34:00.002-05:00

Well, I've not yet gotten to making the new blog because I just got internet in the past few days and had some housekeeping to do.

First things first: do not use Verizon as your internet provider. Being a planner and wanting to get internet up and running as soon as we moved in, we contacted Verizon at the end of December. We were told January 11 would be our start date. Meh. On Friday, the 8th, I contacted Verizon to see where the modem was, as we were supposed to have it already. One person told us to wait until Monday and then if it hadn't arrived, to call. No thank you, so I talked to someone else who said they couldn't find that we'd placed the order and to call the very same people who just told us to wait. No thank you, so I told this guy we'd been there and done that and what was HE going to do to help me TODAY. Before we were done, I had an order number and a promise for a modem to arrive on Monday.

On Tuesday, said modem arrived with a user manual CD and a few cords. But the modem didn't work. So again I called Verizon and talked to a couple of people, one of whom said that the internet should be working and if our DSL light was not solid, then something was wrong with our jacks, and someone would have to take a look at them but couldn't do it until Thursday. My patience wearing thin, and my scalp getting irritated at all the hair-pulling, I waited on Thursday for someone to come, and of course, they didn't. So at 12:00, I called Verizon again to ask where the technician was that was supposed to come check my jacks, and Verizon had no idea what I was talking about. The conversations that ensued still irritate me, so let's just say that after 3 hours on the phone and talking with 3 different customer service reps, after saying, "This is not 1995 and this is not new technology", along with, "I thought Comcast was bad, but I'm considering going to them because this is ridiculous", and "I'm not getting off the phone with you until this is solved", on Friday, my internet was up and running. No jack problem, just people who don't know what they're doing. But now I'm back!

It's 7:34 a.m. CST. Do you know where your mind is?

2009-12-05T08:33:00.002-05:00

Dear Reader,

How I have longed to share with you some important news. I finally am able to do so today.

Wiley and I are moving to Virginia at the end of this month. That's right, Bloomington will be on the list of places we've lived, and we continue our journey on the border with West Virginia. Wiley got a fantastic job at a university, and we move at the end of this month. I gave my notice at work on Thursday, and have been uber-busy since then showing the apartment, baking, and traveling to Chicago to see friends and go to the Christmas market.

Leaving Bloomington is bittersweet. We have friends here that we won't see very often. We have a baby we've watched grow from a little sleeping lump to an interactive little guy who is less and less fussy when we see him. I leave a job without having another to replace it. But mountains are waiting! New things to explore! Hiking! Maybe less snow (which I'm not sure is a good thing because I do like it a bit chilly)! Washington DC is two hours away! The coast is two hours away! Did I mention mountains?

The timing, unfortunately, couldn't be worse. I can't unpack Christmas decorations because I just have to pack them up again! We're going to Arkansas for the holiday and then two days later will attempt a move. Our apartment in Bloomington may go unrented, which is very scary paying for two rents that are expensive. But all of these things will pass. I'll find work doing something, and maybe it'll be something I really enjoy that is right now unexpected. Who knows what this move will bring?

Right now, I'm in Chicago, and I'll be heading out to shop soon (more like window-shop, but I'm getting some exercise). And tomorrow, I get to meet Logtar and his wife for the first time face to face! Logtar and I have read each other's blogs for awhile now, and I can count on him to give an honest comment, which is appreciated, and his writing is introspective, which I find fascinating for a guy to do. I'm very excited!!

And while people have counseled against it, I think I need to change the blog name. If I lose people in the move, then I guess I'll lose people in the move, but dangit, it's misleading, and I miss Sarajevo alot, but I'm just not there right now. Soooooo, if you have any ideas about a new blog name, let me know. (Cara, I'm looking at you - you have such good names for things!)

Moving on Up.

2009-11-28T21:32:00.003-05:00

Changes to be made to the little site soon, and then I think I shall be posting a bit more on an array of topics.

I win.

2009-11-27T21:22:00.003-05:00

Got my butt up at 3:10 this morning, headed out at 4 am with my warm Glogg in my thermos (like the smell of coffee, hate the taste) to grab my friend, and 45 minutes later, we were in Greenwood at the mall. My timing was off just a bit, as I thought that while the mall would be open at 5, most stores would still be closed until 6. Imagine my surprise when I turn the corner and find the entire parking lot littered with cars. Last night, friends made fun of me for getting up so early and dealing with the throngs of people, but really, it wasn't too bad except in Bath and Body Works, where the B&B Babies didn't know how to snake a line so people kept cutting and 30 minutes later, we finally got to the register. All in all, it was a good time - I got the gifts I needed and hardly any money spent due to returning some other items. And I'd much rather get going early in the morning than go later in the afternoon. By 9:15, which is when we left the mall to come home, walking through the mall was treacherous.

My rules of Black Friday are as follows and I quote:

"No Wal Mart."

"No Best Buy."

"Don't buy crap you don't need just because it's on sale."

For Pom.

2009-11-16T22:29:00.002-05:00

Ok, here I am, updating a blog that hardly anyone reads anymore because I don't post anymore. It kinda feels like the chicken and the egg merry-go-round.

Well, let's see. Pom said to write about the mundane, or take an adventure, so...Wiley has a job interview tomorrow at a university. Tonight we tried to figure out how to fold a suit jacket so it would be as little wrinkled as possible.

Yeah. Right.

I have started two part-time jobs...one is helping out a friend with some marketing things, and the other is being an admin assistant to an older guy who doesn't want to retire. Last weekend I spent some time typing up his original war letters from 1944. Right now, we're in the jungle of New Guinea and the military men only get 1 candle at a time. Being the entrepreneur that he was, my guy got the melted wax from all the other guys in the unit and melted it all together, stuck some rope in for wicks, and put a metal can behind it to make it quite bright. He has a beautiful house, and in addition to being smart, he's pretty nice. He hired me because of my wit, he said. "You hear something, and then you take it and kick it back out in an unusual way," he said. So far, so good. In addition to typing, I also am a bit of maid. I cook breakfast and lunch and clean up the house a bit. Unfortunately, he doesn't care one bit that I hate fish of any kind, and on three occasions now, I've had to cook some sort of fish, or at the very least, prepare it. Smoked salmon with crackers. Sardines with crackers. Fish soup. Gag gag gag.

The most fun thing lately is taking care of friends' 2.75 month old baby for the past month or so. Usually just once a week, Baby Boy and I get together at his crankiest time and figure out how long I can keep him from crying. Wiley also helps most days. Sunday was difficult, though - I was all alone, and everything was going swell until his nap time before bedtime. Before I knew it, he was inconsolable, and for 14 minutes, I held him, changed his diaper, made sure he wasn't too hot or cold, tried to use a pacifier, and came to the realization that he just needed to tire himself out. Into the swing he went, and after 1 good suck on the pacifier, was out for about 35 minutes. Then, he was happy to coo until bathtime, when he screamed again (Mommy said it was her ice cold hands).

So cross your fingers that Wiley comes home with good news! That's all for now Pom!

Howdy Stranger.

2009-09-08T18:58:00.002-04:00

What a busy time this has been. Wiley and I moved into a townhome, did I tell you this, Dear Reader? We are no longer renting our friends' house with our friends' possessions still in it. This townhome we have rented has only OUR belongings in it, and it makes me so happy. So happy that I can even deal with evil college students who don't know how to shut up because their neighbors have ears.

A friend had a baby, and I've gotten to spend time with the little one. The day after he was born, we went to the hospital, and he cried like a little donkey. It was darling. Well, now he's got some lungs, and it's slightly less darling, though I understand that you just want to figure out what they're trying to tell you. I'm told the feeding is touch and go, so some days are better than others, but hopefully he'll get the hang of it soon or else my friend's twins are going to fall off. They were told not to introduce a bottle until after a month of feeding, which to me sounds awful for them. Syringe feeding so there's no nipple confusion? Gack.

This could be one reason I'm not a mother.

But in light of that, the baby is doing well. This weekend is a baby shower, and I made the diaper cake and fondant for the shower cake. Fondant is sticky business. The premade stuff tastes rather awful, but if you make it from scratch, it's much tastier...it's still powdered sugar, but with a hint of almond, it brightens it up. Working with fondant could turn out to be a disaster, as this will be the first time I use fondant on a cake. I know, I know, I should practice, but I am baked out. In addition to the fondant, I made pumpkin cupcakes with cream-cheese frosting and peanut butter cup cookies for the holiday weekend. I got good marks from people on both counts. But that also means I'm not interested in baking until later in the week, and I also find that sometimes on the first try, I do really well, and then the second time, it's a disaster. So while I've made the cake and the buttercream icing before, and know that will be fine, then I'll see how the fondant does. If it doesn't work, I can always take it off and make some more buttercream icing. I'm not worried except I still need to figure out the shape. For a planner, it's not really like me to wait until a few days before something is due to decide.

But this is what I call "living a little".

And hooray, it's fall!!!

Ketchup.

2009-08-14T12:49:00.002-04:00

Nothing about ketchup, sorry, but instead a post to catch-up.

Wiley and I are moved into our own living space...still renting, but everything inside is ours. No more three kitchen tables, two couches and two pianos. No, Dear Reader, it's a treadmill, a couch, a chair, and an ottoman! With 1 dining room table! And some end tables! It's marvelous. Our two-bedroom townhome is close to work so I can walk on the days it's not too hot (oh yes, I will drive .5 miles to work; I've done it, and I'm ok with it). It's on the busline so Wiley can bus it to school when it's rainy. The walls don't seem to be too thin, though we live next to unknowns on one side and an Indian couple on the other. I'm tempted to ask them to come over and make Indian food with us, as we are big fans, though Wiley makes a wonderful coconut curry chicken already.

So the move went smoothly, with A Better Way Moving and Storage loading us up and unloading us at the new place. No scratches, no dings, nothing broken, and all in less than 2 hours. Couldn't have been more beautiful. We thought we lost 3 books and a vacuum cleaner attachment, but all of those items showed up yesterday as we went through our unpacked bins for the third time. As students move in for the year, I'm sure my rosy glasses will become a bit more purple when it comes time to fight for parking spaces, but for this weekend at least, I will enjoy. Wiley also bought a charcoal grill/smoker and has been a caveman ever since he got it. Anytime he can, he's outside playing with his new toy. I can't complain (except he did burn the grass, and it looks a little bad) because the food he's cooked has been fantastic, and all I have to do is set the table and eat.

For one weekend, I was a kennel attendant at a local kennel. I cleaned kennels of 20 dogs, inside and out, on Saturday and Sunday, and when time allowed, I was even able to walk and romp with the dogs. Such dogs included two Great Danes (who were the best-behaved dogs of the whole group), two German shepards, a border collie, a Boston terrier, a collie/shepard mix, a St. Bernard, a Labradoodle, a Bichon Frese, two Schnauzers, a golden Retriever, and a little yellow dog that looked like a fox (bushy tail and pointy ears and just a doll). There was also a dog named Starbuck that scared me to death, so he was walked by others. Call me a coward, but when I see you foaming at the mouth when I'm trying to put water in your bowl and you're trying to chew a hole in the fence to get at me, I'm going to leave you alone. The Retriever tried to have his way with me, but I was able to fight him off by telling him to sit. The Labradoodle was impossible to put a collar on, but with the help of my boss, I got it on him, and he was just as giddy and jumpy. I'd had enough by this time and realized if I was ever going to be able to actually walk him, I'd have to show I was top dog, so I said, "Sit." Nothing happened except more bouncy. "Sit." This time, a lap around me. "SIT." He sat. And stayed sat until I said, "Ok, let's go." I patted myself on the back. Sadie, the St. Bernard, however, had a mind of her own, and refused to go back into her kennel after her walk. Tugging on a St. Bernard's collar is not going to work. Pushing on a St. Bernard's rump also has no effect. I think Sadie just got a little tired of my pleads because she finally went in after about 5 minutes of me throwing up my hands.

In addition to cleaning out the kennels, I also got to experience just what a dog feels when that door is closed because I ended up locking myself in the kennel no less than three times. I was able to get out one time, but the doors were a little stickier on the other two, so I was glad my boss was there to get me out. She said she used to do it all the time, which made me feel better.

Unfortunately, the job was short-lived, and I am not working there anymore, though I have made a new friend who shares my love of Indian food, and I'm hopeful that we will get together for lunches around the kennel schedule. When I got home, I picked up my cats and danced around the room with them, telling them how happy I was that they were little so I could pick them up and place them wherever I wanted them to be (not that they stay, but that's ok).

Moving Day is Coming.

2009-07-29T08:09:00.003-04:00

As has become the norm in my life, I am moving. How "norm", you ask? Well, for being 32, I've moved a total of 14 times. I find it kinda funny, considering that I never thought I was one who moved a lot, like Army families.

I'm excited to move and live in a space where everything in it is mine. I am trying to be a minimalist and not have crap/clutter, but with others' belongings in the same space, that proves difficult.

The only downside is that we're still renting, and in my opinion, still throwing money away. Wiley disagrees, saying it's nice to call someone else to fix something that has broken (like the clothes dryer). In connection with that, we will be living in a complex, and you know how noisy community living can be. But I'm close enough to work to walk, and Wiley's still on the bus line, so it should all work out. And no mowing or weeding!!!

And now off-topic completely and better suited for Twitter, but I haven't made the leap yet:

Brett Favre, it's terrible that you string teams along, but really, it's what people now expect from you. I think you should have retired long ago.

Wiley and I have started watching Cake Boss on TLC. It's gotten my creative juices flowing, and I have been playing with icing and decorating with it, and I made my first fondant (guess what - the taste is actually pretty good!) in preparation of making a baby shower cake in a couple of months.

We have also been hooked on Deadliest Catch. If you haven't seen this show (and I managed to avoid it until this year), these guys are completely nutters. I can say with absolute certainty that while I like boats and I like water, this is a job I would NEVER attempt.

Basil Fingers

2009-06-15T19:04:00.002-04:00

It's been awhile since I've posted, so this will be a bit of a mish mash because I have a little to say on a few topics.

The container garden is growing. I just picked basil and we are having it with our tomato and mozzo, called a caprese salad, I believe. It's very tasty. Yesterday, the first cucumber got picked and eaten, and it was sooo good. Tonight I cut some suckers from the tomato plants in hopes that they'll bloom more tomatoes. Right now, I have two: one marble sized, one golf sized, and one that I don't consider a tomato just yet because it's still mainly a flower.

Over the weekend, Wiley and I went to Louisville, where we met up with family and went to Churchill Downs. We won two races - right before we left. It's amazing. For only $2 and some odd change, you can bet on a horse. Or a box. And you can do this all day long. It was really fun!!! We also went to the casino, where we lost our winnings on roulette and a slot machine. I don't like the $10 minimum bet tables - you lose too much too quickly, and it's no fun. My strategy is to stand next to Wiley and tell him red or black. We found the $2.50 electronic version of roulette, where we did much better, but in the end, we still lost.

And speaking of losses, a very close friend of mine lost someone very important to her (most of you will know who I'm talking about, but that's all I'll divulge). I've been trying to be there mentally for her due to the fact that I'm so far away, but the truth is, we all grieve differently. My mother was taken from me very quickly without warning; my friend's loss was something that was foreseen awhile ago, but that doesn't make it any less painful. And the fact is, while I am empathetic, I don't know how she's feeling. So I tell her how I felt when I had to deal with this and ask if it's somewhat similar. The first year after my mom died, I felt electric, like everything was in technicolor. She passed away in February of 1994, and the cold Iowa winter was just brutal. Nothing but grey and cold. I don't remember the weather clearing up for quite some time. But I remember one day driving down Main Street and stopping for a minute to look at the sky in the spring. It was the clearest, bluesky sky I'd ever seen, and I thought with a bittersweet smile, This is the first clear day of sunshine without my mother. And that's how it went the entire first year. First prom without Mom. She'll never get to hear about my dates or fights with the steady. First spring without Mom. This is the first year that Mom won't be able to plant a garden. First concert without Mom. She's not here to hear me practice. No more swimming and laughing at Mom when she gingerly sticks a foot in the pool and decides I'm nuts for going in at 78 degrees. (Now I get it, Mom; it's too damn cold!) No senior pictures to be taken in the summer where Mom gets to say, "I like that one best" or "Your smile was too fake in that one". First fall without Mom. No funny little paper pumpkin decoration that you paperclipped together and stuck on a table. I called that period the Year of Firsts, and every time I thought about going through something without my mom in this world, it was a shock to my soul.

So for my friend who is reeling without her rudder to steady her, the only advice I can offer is that time does heal. You never really get over the grief; you make room for it in your life, and eventually, you notice that the grief gets smaller and smaller, though it will never go away completely, and it may be that 10 years down the road, you'll remember something in the middle of the grocery store that makes you start crying buckets right then and there, while people look at you like you're crazy (and not just because you have 21 items in the express lane). I was very raw for quite some time, though I held it together, missing just a week of school but still going to orchestra rehearsal everyday because that's what you do: you go on. You already know your life is changed. You can't go back to the Life Before. But that's ok because that's what happens, and is supposed to happen. Right now is just about getting through the logistics, and when you're home, it will sink in even more. And that, my friend, is when you call me and cry your little heart out because that's what I'm here for. And I'll cry right along with you because it's really hard, and though I don't know exactly what you're going through, loss, plain and simple, really, really hurts.

Happy Spring.

2009-04-28T21:24:00.002-04:00

Wiley and I went out for a bike ride last Saturday morning and decided to bike into campus and take pictures of flowers so I can work on my skill. These were the best.

There are actually a few more, but for whatever reason, I can't get them on the blog. So, for another 8 or so pictures, click here.

And Today's Eye Roll Goes To...

2009-04-20T16:02:00.003-04:00

Cnn.com states that being fat is less eco-friendly. "Thinner is better to curb global warming."

You can read the article here.

I'm already in a bad mood, but this made me even more mad. Our "models" are stick figures. I'm by no means skinny, but I know I have a problem when I see normal-sized models and think they're fat because I'm so used to seeing the skinny models that shouldn't look like a 15 year-old girl. And now we have this stupid article to hang over our heads. No, we don't already have a complex, so feel free to guilt us one more time.

You know what? There are people in the world who are fat, not because they are lazy, or because they eat too much; much of it has to do with genetics. Even when I was at my thinnest, I still had a belly. That's where my fat likes to go, first and foremost. Thanks, Mom and Dad, for the gift of looking pregnant even when it isn't so. The last thing I want to read is that I'm contributing to global warming simply because I don't fit industry standards which are way out of whack. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go release my greenhouse gas.

On Hiatus.

2009-02-05T19:47:00.002-05:00

As it's been 3 weeks or so since my last post, I gotta say I just haven't been feeling it lately. I type a lot, which has led to the hands hurting (especially the right), so I try to give them a rest at night and stay off the computer. This in turn leads to less computer time at night, which is really the only time to blog. And if I' m being completely honest, starting this blog was a way for me to keep in touch with friends and family while I was abroad. I'm not abroad anymore. I don't have any new stories to tell you. Blogs that have a central theme are the ones that are read. My blog doesn't do that anymore. I could tell you the funny stories about my coworker's 3 year-old daughter, who took a dollar bill out of her mom's purse and stood in front of her with it in her hands, threatening to rip it if her mom said a bad word again, but those aren't my stories...maybe SHE should start a blog. My stories involve my cat gaining 1.5 pounds since being back in my care (yes, this is a good thing), or the fact that I was two inches away from hitting a stupid college student who darts out into the street like a toddler...and I know there are those "life" blogs out there, but I'm not one to share everything, especially if I think it's boring. When you're not completely anonymous, that's hard to do without taking some flak, and I don't really want to take flak. So while I won't take the blog offline completely (I still see some strangers coming to it from outer lands), I also won't be posting anything for some time. For those people who read consistently, and the e-quaintances I have with some fellow bloggers, I thank you for your attention. I'll still be keeping tabs on you.

Birthday Wishes

2009-01-15T16:18:00.003-05:00

On a cold cold day, back in 1996, after waiting and waiting and waiting for my sister's water to break, I went home, sure I would not have a little niece until much later. Not long after I left, my sister indeed went into labor and delivered a little girl, whom I got to meet three weeks later. Today that little girl is beginning the teen years. Having gone through it myself, and having watched my eldest niece go through the years of angst, my words of wisdom are: good luck to the rest of us. Lil B, you won't have any idea what you're doing until you've done it and can laugh about it years later when you finally have the age of wisdom about you, but we will watch you now, sometimes with awe, sometimes with abject horror, and yet at other times with annoyance, but know that your family loves you underneath it all. Happy Birthday!

Embracing Fear

2009-01-14T20:09:00.002-05:00

As I was recounting an argument had between family members to my Auntie Em, it dawned on me to go ahead and blog about it - fear.

What is fear? If you don't know, go look it up. This ain't Webster's Dictionary. And this is my blog, so don't go thinking that I'm going to give you the right answer. I'm giving you mine.

Fear, to me, is a motivator. Fear is practically my compass. That which I am afraid of, I know I must do. I don't have a fear of jumping out of airplanes, even though I've never done it. But since I don't fear it, I don't do it.

I feared leaving a stable, cushy job. So I knew I had to do it. I feared being a foreigner in a country where I didn't speak the language. That told me that that was the right decision for me. While I think I was a failure because I hardly picked up any of the language and I didn't go out very often by myself, at least I left the country for a time, which is a success.

I'm not saying I've done everything I'm afraid of. One great example is working out at a gym. I hate the gym. I went in KC for a period of time, but I can't say I enjoyed it. I always took the treadmills at the back so no one could see my rump bubbling underneath my sweats, and the weights? Forget it. So that's a fear that I have yet to reconcile long-term - I met it once, but right now, I exercise in the comfort of my own living room...kinda like you people with Wiis, but without the console. Hey, lookit that - I just justified not having to come to terms with my fear....

(Ahem, moving on.) What I find interesting is how people respond to fear. Change is constant, so you'd better get used to it, right? But what about fear? There's a lot of fear in the air these days. And how do people deal with it? A lot of people I see don't deal with it. If they're afraid to travel, they stay home. If they're afraid of their retirement (or lack thereof), they don't open up their brokerage statements. (And if you do, have a chair handy because you may faint from seeing your 401k turn into a 201k.)

I think if you aren't careful and can't deal with fear in a healthy way, it will consume you in ways you can't really see or don't notice. You may become depressed, or sleep too much, or develop ulcers. I suppose people don't deal with fear because it makes them uncomfortable, and why in the world would you want to make yourself uncomfortable, especially when you have a neighbor, a loved one, a boss, a movie, do it for you?

Because this is where growth comes from, people. When you face your fears, you build character. You stretch that courage muscle, and before long, that courage muscle will bulge because you've conquered your fears. There are some fears that you'll never get over. I will forever be a little wary of rain if I'm not on a hill ever since I lived unknowingly-but-intuitively in a flood zone. That doesn't mean I'll be living in a flood zone to face my fear. What it will mean is talking myself out of becoming worried when after 15 minutes, the water works still haven't shut off. That uncomfortable feeling will go away, but you have to acknowledge that you have it, and while you feel like heaving out your insides with a spade, rest assured that the feeling will pass. It could take awhile, but it will pass. And if you find that your fear is debilitating, for Cher's sake, go get professional help. Once I have my master's, you can come to me if you like! But don't stop living just because you're afraid. Take one step at a time to overcome your fear.

First Post

2009-01-01T09:43:00.002-05:00

In our household, New Year's was pretty low-key. We made food and had some friends over. At 11:46 or so, we turned on the TV, and our options were kinda limited: Carson Daly, Ryan Seacrest with Dick Clark, or Anderson Cooper with Kathy Griffin. We bounced between Ryan and Anderson.

Things I noticed:

Manhattan, KS, was shown on CNN at 2 am EST.

Apparently the 5 second delay isn't in effect anymore. Kathy Griffin got a little unruly and said something to the effect of taking a male appendage out of Anderson's mouth.

Dick Clark really shouldn't be on TV anymore. At all. He's just not the same after the stroke, and it was painful to watch.

Who the hell were all the people singing and dancing? I knew the Jonas Brothers and Fallout Boy. That was it. And what is up with fashion today, people? Solange, another singer I don't know, had this yellow crap over her eyes...looked like tape....wearing a dress that was fashioned from a garbage bag, with a green belt and blue shoes with clear stilletto heels. She looked like a train wreck. If this is what the kids are listening to, and looking up to, I never want to hear another bad word about the grunge look. At least the shirts matched the shoes.

And now, a little advice. Make a couple of goals and work on them slowly. Don't do the resolutions - you know you will break them by the end of the month. But with a goal, you can work on that and even if you take a wrong turn, it's ok because that's what happens with goals. It's easier to see when you've gone astray and then how to fix it without beating yourself up. Good luck!

Happy New Year

2008-12-30T21:39:00.003-05:00

To the UPS man who supposedly delivered our packages today: no, you didn't. You might have delivered them to someone else, but you certainly didn't deliver them to our house. Thanks a lot, asshat.

And to our possible neighbors who got said packages, I hope you enjoy our Omaha steaks and my clothes from Victoria's Secret. I hope they don't fit you.

Happy New Year.

The Sights

2008-12-25T14:24:00.005-05:00

This was our view of Christmas Eve:

From the bedroom:

Racing outside in the frigid cold to catch the last few glimpses:

Trying to be creative:

Brown Christmas? No way!

Happy Christmas To You

2008-12-25T10:59:00.003-05:00

Can't help it...I'm a Harry Potter fan, so I liked it in the first movie where they said, "Happy Christmas" to each other. I also like Burl Ives' "Have a Holly Jolly Christmas". So take your pick.

Right now, Wiley is upstairs and I am snuggled in one of his fleecy shirts, keeping somewhat warm (the toes are always cold). We've opened presents, had a fantastic breakfast consisting of blueberry pancakes, sausage and clementines on our china (this stuff is going to get used, jolly golly), and have listened to some Christmas music and even found the Yule Log on TV that Auntie Em told me about. The stockings have been emptied, the cats have batted around their mice, and A Christmas Story has already been watched. It's been a good day.

Have a wonderful holiday wherever you are!

Holy S*#@ It's Cold.

2008-12-21T17:48:00.002-05:00

7 degrees above 0 with a wind chill of -12. It's kinda chilly. And inside the house it is as well. We keep the house fairly cold - 65 degrees most of the time. But the windows let in so much cold air, it's probably closer to 58 in the living room. I put a blanket up to try and save my heat. We also figured out how to start the fireplace, so that's been going for awhile and is a nice little burst of heat. It's also very pretty and kinda makes it feel like Christmas. Our Christmas will be a brown Christmas, and I'm ok with that, though I can't say I'm used to it.

This was the weekend we were supposed to go to Chicago, but weather conditions on Friday prevented us from doing so. So no Christkindlmarkt for me, but we did rake leaves yesterday and took 12 bags to the drop-off center. Yeah, I would've rather been in Chicago. Today, my back screams for something stronger than Aleve, and I realize that I've become a lazy fat-ass. No 31 year-old who's in shape would be feeling this pain. So while not a New Year's resolution (I don't believe in them), I believe I will start working the free weights again...amazing how quickly you can turn to mush when you don't use your muscles and how easy it is to drop something that was rather routine...and how hard it's going to be to get into it. Who the hell wants to walk a mile or two when it's -12 outside, other than Jill up in Alaska?

Tonight we are having dinner with some friends. I made my mom's peanut blossoms - you may know them as something different. They're the peanut butter cookies with chocolate stars on top (or Hershey's kisses because those stars can be really hard to find). Sometimes my chocolate stars roll off, but they're still tasty. Being a baker is a curse. No - being a baker without willpower is a curse. Hence the lazy fat-ass comment above. Sometimes I wish I could have someone else's tongue, one who had nothing but the bitter taste buds covering the whole thing. I think I read somewhere that the less sweets you have, the less you want them (so maybe I just need to eat bitter-tasting stuff and get myself used to it). Can anyone confirm this?

Where've I Been?

2008-12-09T19:11:00.002-05:00

My loudmouthed coworker today went to my blog and said, "It's been like a month since you updated your blog!" with an exasperated look on her face. So my following of 1 has spoken.

Where have I been, you ask? Eh. Around. Here. There. Not really at the computer. It's hard to write when you don't really feel it. But I will oblige and kinda update you, Dear Reader, on the opinions in my world...not so much happenings, but opinions. That may change as I write.

I'm happy Twilight was made into a movie. I thought the book was fun, and I think Robert Pattinson will be a dreamy vampire. I hate the color of his hair, not to mention the length. That is not sandy-colored to me. And the more I look at him, the more I'm convinced he's related to the Gallagher brothers from Oasis.

Extreme Makeover Home Edition recipients from 2004 are facing foreclosure. I believe General Blather really had the best blog on this from last year, so I won't go into it.

For living in a house that's relatively new (under 10 years old), it really shouldn't be this drafty. I am always cold.

And like Pom, I too have a hard time keeping it clean. Too much shyt, over half of which is not Wiley's and mine, mixed with our shyt does not a happy home make. No room for anything!!

We have decided to stay put for Christmas. Traveling so far in only four days just isn't my idea of fun anymore. Do you know what this means? That's right - shopping for sport begins on Friday, December 26th, so I can find a couple of good deals for next Christmas. Oh yeah. Bring it on.

I'm really tired of seeing Beyonce flounce her shyt on TV and telling me she'd like to upgrade me.

We found lights in a really big bin and put them on the shrubs out front. It's actually a festive-looking house now. Next up? My Festivus pole.

Last night was fun at a friend's house making gingerbread houses. For all the mess that was made, it was actually all cleaned up REALLY quickly. It was fun.

Tis the Season

2008-12-09T18:38:00.012-05:00

For getting fat. And hopefully making other people fat as well so then you don't feel so bad about your own weight gain. Today I bring you pictures of peanut brittle. First, the ingredients: 1 cup corn syrup, 2 cups sugar, 1/2 cup water, 2 tsp. baking soda, 2 T. butter, 1 tsp. vanilla, and 2 cups raw peanuts. To make good peanut brittle, humidity should be less than 60%. Just trust me, or say goodbye to your teeth.

I skipped the pictures where you wait and wait and wait for the water, the sugar and the corn syrup to become a boiling pot of silver over medium-high heat. You "spin a good long thread" in the words of my grandmother, which means you dip in your spatula and then hold it up high over the pan and let the syrup ooze down and watch the thread. When it's about the size of a piece of string and is about 2 feet long, then you're ready for the next step, which is adding in the peanuts and turning the heat down slightly.

When you first put the peanuts in, give them a good stir, but don't be discouraged if they all stick together. It takes a little bit of time. You are now cooking the peanuts. Keep stirring them - not constantly, but you don't really want to leave them alone either. After the peanuts are cooked, you add the butter, vanilla and baking soda, and stir like crazy.

This is what the brittle will look like as you're frantically stirring:

("Mad dog! Mad dog!")

Once the butter, vanilla and soda are mixed in, grab your greased jelly roll pan (I use Pam spray) - you really need something with a lip on it - and pour out the brittle.

This is how it will look in the pan:

With your oven mitts, take your brittle outside and let it cool. About 10 minutes after putting it outside, you can insert a knife underneath it to help get it out of the pan when it's cool. When it's cool, then you bring it inside and turn it over on your countertop. I line my countertop with paper towels, but it's up to you.

Then with that knife, take the heavy end and tap the brittle:

Break and break and break, and you have the finished product:

And there is one way to treat your friends and family. Don't fall prey to the peanut brittle you buy in the store. It's not that complicated. Try making it yourself.

Who Knew?

2008-11-21T12:08:00.002-05:00

I made peanut brittle yesterday during lunch. I am afforded such luxuries because I live 1 mile from work and I'm required to take an hour lunch. However, it wasn't completely cooled by the time I had to leave, so I brought it in today.

Imagine my surprise that quite a bit of it is still left. My office loves candy. We have no fewer than four candy dishes in our small office, and whenever the candy dishes are full, you'll see most of us scrounging around in the early afternoon for our fix. Maybe they're sweeted out...yesterday we got donuts and I also made the best sugar cookies ever in the history of mankind (in my humble opinion), and those went very quickly.

I wonder what they'll do if I make Divinity. I like my officemates...they're like experimental pets.

This is What I was Born to Do...

2008-11-14T03:05:00.002-05:00

Travel. We are in Amsterdam now. Wiley is downstairs having his university paid-for breakfast. Me, being somewhat of a cheapskate and not wanting to spend 10.50 Euros on something I probably won't like (and will grab a pastry later on in the morning), am hogging up all the available internet time I can before Wiley takes his computer.

Amsterdam is lovely. Yesterday the weather was perfect, and I got a lot of great shots. We would have some to show you today, except we were out until 1:15 in the morning with friends who are living in Germany and London, so we went straight to bed. Today, the rain has come back again, which makes me less than happy, as I don't want to cart around the big camera in its bag because I'm worried it's not waterproof. So I'm still deciding what to do. Dinner last night was at an Indonesian restaurant, built around rice. So we had bits of beef, chicken, pork, and there was lamb (but of course I didn't touch it). We met a very nice guy named Max, who looks like he's 12 even though he's almost 30.

I blend in more here than in Sarajevo, and there are just tons of tourists around. Every so often I'll hear a bit of English without any sort of British or Dutch accent.

So today I'll be meandering around, looking for an ornament for us. I was already lucky and found my H&M socks. They come in handy when the wind blows because it's blustery.

That's all for now, folks!

Embrace, People, Embrace

2008-11-07T12:19:00.002-05:00

With my handy-dandy Google Reader, I am able to keep up to date with lots of blogs. Even though I no longer live in Kansas City, I still have strong ties to the area. And even though I haven't met so many of the bloggers (I made it to one blogger gathering in August of '07 before moving to Sarajevo), I keep a certain kinship to them.

So imagine my surprise and annoyance when I read some people's posts about the election. People who I consider acquaintances, even though we've never met face to face, are being taken to task for their choice in President. I get mad when I read that Logtar's friends haven't stopped ridiculing him for picking the "Yes, We Can" man. (In case you've been living in a cave, that man is now President-Elect.) Heather ends her post with "Yeah, I voted for Obama. What of it?"

It really shouldn't be this way, people. It's ok to have a difference in opinion, but for Cher's sake, keep it civil. There shouldn't have to be any defending of one's choice. In life, when one person loses, you still congratulate the other team for winning. It's called good sportsmanship, and it also applies off the field. Former coworkers did this in the 2004 election. One gal was severely ticked off that W. was re-elected, but with a smile on her face, she went to the reigning Republican gal on the floor and said, "Congratulations." Even though they were on opposite sides of the fence, they were still civil and courteous and were still able to talk politics without getting nasty or thinking negatively about the other person.

Is the new guy going to screw up? Sure. I know people are just salivating at the mouths waiting for the first slip-up, but, um, this is your country too, and like it or not, this is your president. You don't get to complain just because you can say, "I didn't vote for that guy". Feel free to complain about the situation, whatever it will be, but remember that your friends are your friends and treat them as such.

Yeah, Yeah, Vote.

2008-11-04T14:55:00.002-05:00

This post is not about voting. I told you to do it already. No, this post will be short and sweet.

I was looking over Wiley's Amazon wish list today, and there are 9 other Wileys out there. Wouldn't it be kinda fun to get something that's on someone else's wish list and send it to them? Yeah, I know - you don't know this person. Why spend money on someone you don't know? But especially for someone who wanted more information on something, like trains or what to eat when you are allergic to everything, a book in the mail from some anonymous person just might brighten someone's day.

In other news, I found out today that an article on our wedding that was featured on a blog was published in the Chicago Sun-Times. Neato, huh?

Mondays Stink.

2008-11-03T12:07:00.002-05:00

There was a fire at a pet shop today in Bloomington. The official tally hasn't come in, but some animals didn't make it out of the fire alive. Some puppies were saved, but no word on the cats. And from down the hall, I hear, "Cats are a dime a dozen." "Cats are mean." Blood beginning to boil, I called down to them that they're not mean and to keep quiet.

I know some people are "dog people", and some people are "cat people", some favor reptiles and others fish, but lives were lost here. Not human lives, but lives of animals that through no fault of their own, were extinguished. Does it matter so much what a creature is? Can't we focus on the fact that those little individual furry lives are gone, be they reptile (so much for fur), feline, or rodent? Yes, there are many animals in the world. Lots of cats, lots of dogs, lots of birds, even chinchillas, and sure, other animals will fill those spaces should the pet shop remodel and reopen. But it's a little insensitive to say that it doesn't matter that a cat is dead and to save all the dogs because their lives mean more. That's bullshit.

Happy 'Weener!

2008-10-31T23:48:00.003-04:00

I know I said I would post pictures of Halloween costumes from last week's party, but frankly, I haven't seen the pictures we took ourselves at home, and the party itself was a bit lackluster. It was a week early, and it started early. Knowing that my new group of friends are not quite punctual, we got there 3 hours after it started, and stayed for about an hour and a half. Wiley and I went as Paul Bunyan and Babe the Blue Ox, but most of the 15 people who were there didn't realize that I was an ox. It didn't help that someone there had the horns I wanted but was too stubborn to buy. ($10 for horns? Outrageous.) But the couple of times someone looked at me, they guessed I was a member of the Blue Man Group. As my boss said today, "What's the problem with that? You're still not you, right?" Um, thanks. Remind me to get you the Ass of the Year button for Christmas.

Dejected, Wiley and I had a birthday party to attend tonight for a friend whose birthday is on Halloween. We'd been watching a lot of the Sopranos lately, so we got it in our heads that we could be Tony and Carmela. Wiley could wear a white t-shirt, PJ bottoms and a robe, and I could wear something from my everyday work outfit. Whaaaa? I don't really think I dress like Carmela...I certainly don't own anything animal-printed (think of her plastic vest). But sometimes I look at what she's wearing and think, Hmm, that could've come from Casual Corner. So then I got really depressed. It'd be easier to go as Adrianna. I have lots of boots and even a really short skirt.

Apparently Wiley and I share one thing in common - we both tend to get our juices flowing when the pressure's on. At 1:30 today, it hit me. We try to go as a couple when we dress up...one year it was Mario and Luigi, one year it was him being a cheerleader and me being a football player...so I thought that next year we should be Tweety and Sylvester. But I went down this path, and thought, Why not be Elmer Fudd and Bugs this year? So I told Wiley, who was wayyy less than thrilled that we're still messing around with costume ideas the very day of Halloween. At lunch, we ran to Factory Card Outlet, and, while I don't think of them first for cards, they had a lot of kick-ass costumes, and I found my bunny ears (which were really donkey ears because Bugs is grey and white and all the bunny ears there were white and pink), picked up some whiskers, some white face paint, and some big-ass hands (think Mickey Mouse), and I was good to go. At home, I borrowed Wiley's thermal pants and put on a grey shirt. Then we pinned on a shower puff to my butt and I painted my face and off we went. Wiley had pants and a hat and shirt and picked up a toy rifle. We were a hit, and our party was a lot of fun. We had lots of food, a little wine, and I have lots of pictures I can use as blackmail.

As we were driving home, we saw tons of young college kids, and I gotta say, the whore store in the mall was a big hit because we saw lots of little sexy costumes. I'm hoping to get there tomorrow to score some wigs at half price.

Makin' Punkin Soup

2008-10-27T20:30:00.000-04:00

This is the pumpkin soup Wiley made with the remnants of our punkin from Friday night's carving. Put in some wine, some cream, some chicken buillion, mash up the punkin with some onion, add some nutmeg, caraway, salt and pepper, garnish with pumpkinseed oil and roasted pumpkin seeds, and you have a very tasty soup.

Watching Those Receipts

2008-10-27T19:50:00.002-04:00

Today during lunch I ran over to Hobby Lobby to take a look at a few items. After I got to my car, I checked my receipt to see if I got my 40% off and 30% off my items. Of course, that's a negative, Ghost Rider. I didn't have any more time during lunch, so I went back after work to get everything straightened out. I walked in and went straight to the only cashier that was open, who happened to be the exchanges/returns cashier. I got in line behind one lady after it seemed someone else disappeared. A minute later, another lady was behind me, and I mean RIGHT BEHIND ME. Most people have space bubbles with strangers. This lady was ready to date me, she was so close. The only time strangers have been closer was at a concert when women were humping my bum to get closer to the stage. She stayed with me throughout my entire transaction, not noticing or completely ignoring my looks that told her I didn't need her so close she could count my nose hairs. I realized that maybe she was in line, but then went to look at something and then when I got in line and she lost her place, this was her passive-aggressive way of getting back at me. Whatever. IF YOU LEAVE THE LINE, YOU ARE NO LONGER IN LINE. Deal with it. It took the cashier about 3 minutes to mess with my stuff.

But what really grinds my gear-skiy, as Meesha would say, is the fact that you have to be a super-sleuth with your receipts. At Hobby Lobby, they don't scan any items. They look at a price on the item and then look at their price sheets. Or, in my case today, don't look at their price sheets and charge you whatever they want. Paint rung up at lunch was $1.00. Tonight, before my 30% off, it was $.50. I ended up getting over $5.00 back because I was diligent. But imagine how many people don't do that. Businesses end up getting lots of extra money this way! Some do it on purpose...(some Dateline episode I watched way back when did an expose on this)...and some don't. I don't think the chickey today paid attention. She had a lot of people since she was the only cashier. At a place like Hobby Lobby, where it seems everything is marked down every single day, and it's constantly changing, if you're not watching your receipts, you're not watching extra money being thrown away.

Carving Pumpkins

2008-10-24T23:22:00.002-04:00

Tis the season to carve pumpkins
Fa la la la la, la la la la
For those little children munchkins
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Here we go with scary faces
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Then we take them to the races
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Friends came over tonight and we carved pumpkins. Mine is on top; they're a bit more political.
They all turned out very well. Next post? Halloween costumes!

I'm Being Haunted.

2008-10-11T08:41:00.003-04:00

And I'm not alone. Wiley got an email from a friend who we met in Sarajevo. She is a tenured professor on the East Coast, and a fellow violinist. She sent an email saying that she couldn't get Sarajevo out of her mind. She missed the places to walk, the availability to travel on the weekend on the spur of the moment, the chatting, and the pace of life. In short, she said it was perfect.

Wiley and I have talked about this off and on - about how we miss certain things about Sarajevo. If I could do it all over again, I would traipse all around Sarajevo in October, even while being sick. Because now I know that October is the last good month of the year! I admit that there were some maddening things about Sarajevo...like lines being nonexistent. But they were pretty minor, and there were ways around it - like going to the store when no one else was around. Smokers everywhere is a little harder to get around, but then we just wouldn't go into the sweet shops. But it was relatively peaceful. And at times I find myself wistful. I want to go back.

Home Again, this time as a Newlywed.

2008-10-06T18:03:00.007-04:00

Well, the house is quiet except for my cat who is cleaning herself and seemingly snorting at the same time. I suppose I would too if I had to lick all that fur to make it gleam. In a nutshell, we're back and married.

It was all such a blur.

We arrived Wednesday night, and made baskets for the rooms on Thursday morning. Then we delivered said baskets. It was revealed to me later that some friends of mine thought they were from the Red Apple and that they were not free. Thank goodness they talked to me before they left so they were able to eat their goodies and take their baskets with them.

I know we did more things on Thursday, but for the life of me I can't remember. Oh, yeah - we met with the photographer, had some dinner, found the aunts that were lost in the hills of Arkansas. Thanks to a nice little wreck on the main highway, they decided to detour without the help of TomTom, and they got very very close but at the end, needed a little help getting in.

Friday was more basket stuff, and meeting with the officiant to go over exactly what we wanted in the ceremony. Then we headed out to the dam site where our little cookout was held that evening. We had BBQ sandwiches, potato salad, baked beans, and coleslaw, and of course, three types of dessert - chocolate brownie something, which was great, peach cobbler, which was pretty good, and strawberry shortcake, which has to be the best I've ever had. This was one of the views of the lake:

This is part of Greers Ferry Lake. Awesome. Just awesome. As you can see, the night could not have been any prettier.

Saturday morning, you'd think that there'd be a lot of running around to do, but Wiley's parents and sisters did most of the running around, delivering baskets. They decorated the interior of the reception site with flowers, candy bars with special wrapping on them, our cookie cutters, and rose petals and rocks, and it looked like it was straight out of a magazine. I'll never be able to convey to them in words just how appreciative I am for all they did for us to make this a wonderful weekend. So as they worked their tails off, I had a massage and then took some friends out on the lake. Some friends were very gracious and drove us around in their boat, and we had leftover BBQ sandwiches sans the BBQ sauce. (I guess I was a little preoccupied.) After that, then it was off to get ready for the big show. At 5, my bridesmaid showed up to help me in my dress. Up until that point I was walking around in my slip and strapless bra. At 5:30, the photographer, who had been taking pictures of everything and everyone but me, stopped in to take a few pictures while the finishing touches were added (a little hairspray here, a necklace there). At 6:00, it was show time. But Wiley's sisters, who were to get me, were absent. I started pacing, and the beginning of panic set in. What if they changed the plan and I forgot what it was? Maybe I was supposed to go out there by myself. at 6:03 I sent a text message asking if they were coming to get me. At 6:04 (by my watch), they knocked on the door and out we went. Apparently, at the same time, Wiley was inside looking at his watch, telling his best man, "If they don't get Melinda soon, she's just going to show up on her own." So enter music, and the bridesmaid runs down the aisle. Well, not really, but I let it be up to her how fast she wanted to walk. Apparently marathon-walking is her style. Then her music played for a little bit, and I was given the push to walk forward in view of everyone. Thinking that I was another bridesmaid, the music kept on playing. The room is L-shaped, so half the people could see me standing there, and half could not. The bandleader finally realized that the bride, she is wearing red, and started my song. While I didn't marathon-walk, I probably walked a little faster than I needed to. But hey, I'd been standing in front of half the room for nearly a minute (which really felt like eternity). As I walked by, I smiled, and promptly stepped out of one of my shoes. "There goes my shoe," I whispered to my friend who drove the boat today, and she giggled and I stomped my heel back into my shoe and carried on.

Unfortunately, the groom was backlit, so I was unable to see his reaction to me. I hope the photographer got it, but when I could finally see him, he was all smiles at me.

I know all of you have been DYING to see my dress, so here it is with me in it:

Now, I realize that upon posting this, most of you know what my face looks like, and this would appear to be nothing more than a gratuitous boob shot, but I assure you, that is not the case. I like a little anonymity for those two or three readers who do not know what I look like (or do not remember what I look like).

But, because I'm feeling generous, I will give you a shot of the back of me as well as the buffet table and beautiful floral arrangement:

Look - short hair!!

So we get up to the front, and we have our ceremony, and as we're doing our vows, I start to tear up just a bit, but thankfully was able to keep them from rolling down my face. Messing up makeup was not an option. I'd worked way too long to get those fake eyelashes to look natural.

After we were pronounced husband and wife, the music started. We kept this a surprise from everyone but knew it would be the perfect way to end our ceremony. We played the Peanuts theme song, and it hit exactly the right note. Everyone recognized it and started laughing, which made us laugh, and later, the keyboardist for the band said if he knew, he would've played it for us.

We ran outside to get photos, and missed a few shots that I really had wished to get, but then we got back inside, said hello to everyone, sat down for just a moment, then got back up to cut the cake. I wish I had a picture to show you, but I don't have one just yet. But it was four square layers, one layer each of raspberry, chocolate, red velvet, and carrot. It was perfect. There were compliments on it all night long, with raspberry coming in as a favorite, if not the favorite, as it was the biggest layer and we didn't have much left at the end of the night. After the cutting of cake, a few toasts were said, and then it was time for the first dance. We chose "The Way You Look Tonight", and you'd think I'd be nervous being out there all alone with Wiley, but the man can dance. Sure, he stepped on my dress a couple of times, and I was a little worried, but apparently it looked a little comical because we heard loud laughing from the crowd. Maybe they heard me tell Wiley that he was on my dress. "We didn't practice with you in your dress! I don't know where my feet are supposed to go!" I guess that's the downside to not seeing the bride in her dress before the ceremony. But that puppy wasn't going anywhere. I was in that dress, and nothing was getting out.

We danced and talked with friends and family and shut the reception down a little after 10:30. All in all, it was an absolutely perfect wedding. The decorations were beautiful, the flowers could not have been more like what I wanted (and I really wasn't sure what to expect except that flowers are always beautiful because we'd done most chatting over the internet and had an illness to deal with in-between meeting for the first time in July and the wedding), and I didn't freeze under all that attention.

So thank you, Dear Reader, for reading about the wedding from the bride's perspective, and to all of you who read this and showed up, we are so happy you were able to join us. We know it was a long way to travel, but we can't tell you how much we appreciated seeing all of you. To the best man and matron of honor, you both looked great, as did your spouses, and I appreciate Sewing Momma lacing up my dress. You two kept Wiley and me calm, and I think we each got to bond. Technically I guess I'm related now to the best man! Neato! To Wiley's families, as stated above, we can't possibly show you how much we loved everything that you did for us (but we tried), and to the Mother of the Golden Children, who made all the invitations, notecards, labels for the water and candy bars, programs, who tried to cut rocks, all while dealing with two children under 4 and planning a child's birthday party to happen the next day, and to the sisters who helped decorate and keep the florist's wits about her and to calm a nervous bride just before walking in, thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you.

tomorrow.

2008-10-03T23:47:00.001-04:00

Tomorrow's the big day. Everything's turned out well so far. More details to follow! Maybe even a picture!!

Because the Razorbacks have Diehard Fans...

2008-09-29T22:43:00.002-04:00

...they were nice enough to move their game on October 4th to 11:30 a.m., so the people who were conflicted about going to a wedding or going to a game can technically do both!

Unfortunately, the Razorbacks are pretty bad this year, what with a new coach and a green team. Their fans still love them, but wow. It's a tough time to be a Razorback fan.

And since we all know they'll lose, you can leave your frustrations at the door. Let's not dwell. Instead, let's enjoy the day for what it is - a glorious wedding starring Wiley and yours truly!!

(P.S. - if any Razorback players are reading this, help a girl out and win, would ya? Kthankssomuch.)

The 8-Day Update.

2008-09-26T10:51:00.004-04:00

Tan fading a bit. Oh well. I'll go maybe two more times and then that'll be it. Wiley looked at me once and said he actually liked me with just a bit of color. He liked it better than he thought he would. You learn something new everyday.

I found some great makeup at Sephora. I went in just thinking I'd talk to them about colors, and the next thing I know, I'm sitting on a chair and they're applying the makeup to my face to see how it looks! I got some Lorac foundation and some bronzing powder in Hot and Spicy, which really does wonders for shaping your face and making your cheeks pop out (and not in that bad Pat Benatar way). I also found some Urban Decay eyeshadow primer called Primer Potion, and this stuff is awesome. No creasing of the eyeshadow and no fading of the eyeshadow = perfect for a wedding!

Figured out how to do my hair, and I'm very happy with it. I still look like me.

Flowers have been ordered, a massage has been scheduled, and now I'm trying to figure out what I might do with the people who will already be in town on Saturday. Maybe a boat ride around the lake. Or just roaming the grounds of the inn (very spacious and pretty, especially if there are some leaves that are falling and are crunchy under your feet). Whatever I do, I'm told I'm not allowed to see Wiley until the ceremony, which bites.

So now we just cross fingers and hope that no pimples emerge and hope that we can still fit into the dress with no problem.

Warning to Pet Owners

2008-09-26T10:38:00.002-04:00

Thanks to Spyder for posting this.

http://www.snopes.com/critters/crusader/cocoamulch.asp

Reprinted in part:

Over the weekend the doting owner of two young lab mixes purchased Cocoa Mulch from Target to use in their garden. They loved the way it smelled and it was advertised to keep cats away from their garden. Their dog Calypso decided that the mulch smelled good enough to eat and devoured a large helping. She vomited a few times which was typical when she eats something new but wasn't acting lethargic in any way. The next day, Mom woke up and took Calypso out for her morning walk. Half way through the walk, she had a seizure and died. Although the mulch had NO warnings printed on the label, upon further investigation on the company's website, this product is HIGHLY toxic to dogs and cats. Cocoa Mulch is manufactured by Hershey's, and they claim that 'It is true that studies have shown that 50% of the dogs that eat Cocoa Mulch can suffer physical harm to a variety of degrees (depending on each individual dog). However, 98% of all dogs won't eat it.' This Snopes site gives the following information:

Cocoa Mulch, which is sold by Home Depot, Foreman's Garden Supply and other Garden supply stores, contains a lethal ingredient called 'Theobromine'. It is lethal to dogs and cats. It smells like chocolate and it really attracts dogs. They will ingest this stuff and die. Several deaths already occurred in the last 2-3 weeks. Just a word of caution, check what you are using in your gardens and be aware of what your g ardene rs are using in your gardens. Theobromine is in all chocolate, especially dark or baker's chocolate which is toxic to dogs. Cocoa bean shells contain potentially toxic quantities of theobromine, a xanthine compound similar in effects to caffeine and theophylline. A dog that ingested a lethal quantity of garden mulch made from cacao bean shells developed severe convulsions and died 17 hours later. Analysis of the stomach contents and the ingested cacao bean shells revealed the presence of lethal amounts of theobromine.

Football.

2008-09-19T09:34:00.003-04:00

Last night we had Girls' Night, which included chocolate lava cake, spinach and artichoke dip, strong martinis and gossip. And then the conversation drifted briefly to sports. Blame the alcohol, but I am now on an intramural co-ed flag football team playing Wednesday nights at 10 p.m. That's evening. About the time I try to go to bed. 15 days before my wedding.

Anyone remember Marsha Brady's nose right before prom? Let's hope that doesn't happen to me.

Throwing in the Towel.

2008-09-17T10:56:00.003-04:00

I have a cold. I've acquired the unwanted ability of making people mad without knowing how I'm doing it. I have 17 days to get rid of 3 pimples and try to keep what little tan I have. I'm done. Broken. Not taking it anymore. Pass the booze, please.

If you need me, I'll be under my covers, in my darkened room, sleeping, giving up on the world.

Eh.

2008-09-16T22:30:00.002-04:00

Been busy. But I have a moment to vent.

First, kids are stupid. At any age, they are stupid. Tonight on my way home in the dark, a girl is walking in the middle of the street, though the sidewalk is just 4 feet to her right.

Indiana time is slow time. At green arrows, there is easily a car length or two between each car. I guess when you're used to driving in a big city, all that space equals extra time that's being wasted. This leads to frustration, which is further compounded by said stupid kids who have huge SUVs and don't know how to drive them.

And last but not least, we are moving the last of our stuff out of our storage unit. Some asshat today came into the office wanting to get in, and found out that I was renting the office next door. He didn't have a key to get in, and I didn't have mine, but I don't want people looking at my stuff anyway. So then he asked if I could have a key tomorrow that he could pick up. I originally said ok because I was completely thrown off guard by this guy who took up the I-have-a-cobb-up-my-ass-and-shouldn't-be-talking-to-you-peons, but then I got angry, so I called the property manager, who said I didn't have to give him a key because I was rightfully renting it for the next couple of weeks. So tomorrow, I get the joy of being an asshat right back, but I'll be much nicer about it. And maybe after I'm done for correcting his way of talking to me, he'll thank me for taking that cobb out of his butt.

You Know....

2008-09-09T11:44:00.002-04:00

It's a great day when the gynecologist you've never met before, whom you're about to get very personal with, takes a look at your chart and says, "Are you interesting in losing weight at all?"

Updating the Few Readers That Are Still With Me.

2008-09-08T17:19:00.002-04:00

I should be doing laundry, or making a grocery list, or at least getting the phone to have nearby so when Wiley calls, I can go get him, but instead I'm trying to catch up on my 125 posts I've neglected to read (don't you people have anything else to do) and posting what's been going on.

Wiley and I raced to KC on Friday so we could pick up our rings and my last cat, Deeder. We ended up not getting Deeder because her momma wanted to keep her, so my fat cat, who used to resemble a black panther and now resembles a black bear, is no longer mine. Rewind and Dixie aren't complaining, and I'm ok with the decision, but at the time, I was sad.

I got my hair cut and highlighted, and talked to my stylist about how to style my hair. She gave me some hints and tricks, so this week, next week, and the week after will be spent playing with my hair to attempt to make it look like the picture I found ages ago. With short hair, there weren't many pictures to go around. But I like what I found.

Saturday night we went to Abuelo's for food with a small group of friends, only it turned out to be a surprise wedding shower. Wiley pretended to get sick at Barnes & Noble so I didn't beat the guests there (I have this thing about being just a bit early or on time), so we got there "late", but that was just so everyone would have time to get there and get seated. Wiley herded me in and said, "They're over here," and I look and see 13 people seated who shouted, "Surprise!" It took a bit to sink in that they were there for us. Everyone did a fabulous job at keeping me in the dark. I really like surprises so this was great. We had Hitler's sister wait on us. "Ok, listen up. This is how it' s gonna be. I'm going to take care of the front tables. This waiter here's going to take care of the back tables. No one's allowed to change seats. Follow my orders and we'll get along just fine." Since I missed the spiel, I of course got up to talk to the guests, which flustered her when it came time to taking our food orders. And then she said she'd split the checks for us, but didn't, and then the manager came out and told us that their first concern is to get the food out hot and fast, and if customer service has to take a backseat to that, then that's ok with them. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Abuelo's, you let me down, especially when you forgot my pappas con chiles (taters to you lay people). But I did appreciate that Steve Buschemi's twin did some magic tricks for us, and he called me Mary. We had a great time though, and it was so fun to see people I didn't think I'd be able to see on this trip.

So we both have our rings, and they look smashing. It's going to take awhile to get used to rings. Mine is quite heavy, but Wiley's looks great on him, and it's tight enough that it hopefully won't go flying off into the class when he gestures.

Sunday was spent driving back and then trying to do a couple loads of laundry. Lots of laundry to do when you move.

Meesha, I wasn't able to post on your blog, but if I got it right, you had a birthday, so happy birthday! We celebrate because then we get cake. And you should wear your age with pride. I'll believe that just as soon as I get some wrinkles taken off my face, hahaha.

Pom, the last I read about you, you were happy that other babies had icky baby neck. It sounds a little gross, but babies do not, and are not, squeaky clean all the time. Just as long as she's not attracting wildlife, I think you're ok.

Heather, glad to hear your mom seems to be doing better and you don't mind playing the Hurry Up and Wait Game. The float trip is hilarious, and if I'm back in KC sometime when you do your float trip, I'm totally there!

Cara, keep practicing saying President Obama. You saying that gives me hope.

Wow, got some vertigo going on now, so I'm going to try and eat something and hope it goes away in time to get Wiley.

Happy Days!!

2008-08-30T19:00:00.002-04:00

I found my library book! No fines for me, thank you very much!!!

And now that the biscuits aren't burned, it's time to go back. But you don't realize until you tan that your stretch marks don't and the white will be forever singed in my memory...tan leg, shockingly white stretch marks. At least when I had absolutely no color, they blended in. You win some, you lose some.

At Last.

2008-08-30T01:25:00.002-04:00

Got my friend from the airport. Went to the storage unit and got my towel, a bin, a can of mandarin oranges, and a ziploc baggie for the smelly cat poop, and now the bed is calling. Wiley has had a bit of a rougher night. They got started late today, and so at 11:30 or so, finally got to their hotel, only their hotel wasn't pet-friendly. So an hour later, they finally found a hotel where they could keep the dog. Hotels.com screwed up, as they thought the original hotel was pet-friendly. Oops. So Wiley has a little over two hours of driving tomorrow, while I work at my other job and then try to figure out where my library book is that's due on Sunday. I hate having overdue books, and originally it was on the desk before we moved. Now it has sprouted legs, and who knows which bin it fell into.

Biscuits Are Burning.

2008-08-28T21:54:00.003-04:00

In more ways than one. 37 days to go until the wedding. 37, Dear Reader. And for those of you who haven't sent in your RSVPs, GET MOVING!

In honor of looking even more fabulous, I've decided to do a little bit of the fake baking. After going three times at 5, 8 and 11 minutes each, I finally got a little color. And then yesterday, I think I got a bed with new bulbs because I went for 12 minutes and managed to burn my back, my biscuits and even the twins. This morning the red had left the back, but not the front so much. And after contorting myself this way and that to make sure I'm getting evenly colored (can't really call it a tan right now, after all - less-than-pasty-white is as far as I can go), I noticed last night that along my spine was a nice bright white mark. WTF?! This morning it was less noticeable, but seriously, WTF???

Tomorrow Wiley goes to Princeton for two days while I move for hopefully the last time in the next ten months. Unfortunately, all of the cleaning I was going to do this weekend has to be aborted because the mom and baby changed their plans and will still be there. It's difficult to clean someone's house while they're present. Even if everything is cleaned, it's still not done by me, and I prefer to do it myself. So the weekend will instead be working at my friend's office and staying out of their way as much as possible, although since they will be without a car, I will be "on-call" just in case. Joy.

And my friend returns from India tomorrow night at 11 p.m. I will be greeting her at the airport. What was I thinking?

And Then Life Bites You in the Ass.

2008-08-19T12:00:00.003-04:00

So yesterday's post seemed a bit trivial when I got wored that a former coworker of mine has been diagnosed with cancer. You go in for surgery to help your bowel become unobstructed, and the next you know, you have cancer instead. What a doozy of a surprise.

Feeling completely helpless, I have been able to mobilize a friend into being my legs in KC. I've found a DVD of KU basketball online that I'm going to order (because she is a huge KU fan and I suspect already has this DVD), and my friend is going to drop off a portable DVD player, as the rooms are not equipped with these. She's groggy and heavily medicated right now, but hopefully by the time the DVD arrives, she will be awake and able to somewhat watch it if she chooses.

And then after that, nobody seems to know. Seems trivial, getting her a DVD when she's facing a battle for her life, but I don't know what else to do. As my friend Cara says, if you're a praying fool, then do it, and if not, root for the Jayhawks.

Annoyances.

2008-08-18T18:24:00.002-04:00

I'm not one to really diet. I've done so in the past, to my detriment. My mother was a dieter all the years that I knew her. And I never wanted to be like that.

However, upon returning to the U.S., there were lots of things I ate that I probably shouldn't have, and now my belly bulge is back, and it brought its cousins with it.

So today I decided to follow the South Beach Diet plan, which I've had moderate success with in the past. And of course, today we had a staff meeting with pizza. Four different kinds. And breadsticks.

Not to mention that my office is a veritable hell for people with weak willpower, such as myself. Candy dishes abound with Starbursts, Hershey's kisses and Miniatures, butterscotch discs, and Sweet Tarts.

But I screwed up my willpower, and ate my vegetables while everyone around me gorged on some mighty fine looking pizza.

So what do I find when I get off work?

Wiley ate a bagel.

Now, perhaps this wouldn't be a big deal to you, Dear Reader, but I was furious. First, we decided to do this together. Second, my willpower is really quite low. So I need the support. But I felt betrayed. How can I get support from someone who says, "I was hungry, and it was offered to me, and I wanted to eat?" I'm still mad about it. Yeah yeah, humans aren't perfect, and all that jazz, but it's not even the end of the first day.

Meh. You hear me, Wiley? Meh.

The Ring.

2008-08-18T07:51:00.003-04:00

This weekend was a big blur. We went to Kansas City to order Wiley's ring
and to check up on mine, and here is the finished product:

Isn't she beautiful?

Yes, yes, she is. And yes, I realize it's not a diamond. What it is, is a simple platinum band with a sapphire in a half-bezel setting (those are reflections on the side of the sapphire, no diamonds or anything like that). It couldn't be more perfect for me. Wiley's ring is hopefully going to be coming in a couple of weeks...it will be tungsten carbide, so a little darker grey than what you normally see in a guy's wedding band.

I would write more, but I have to get to work.

There's No Hole in My Bucket...

2008-08-13T08:00:00.001-04:00

You know, I didn't mind Wal Mart in KC. But here in Bloomington, I despise it. I needed to take a friend's car out for a spin to make sure the battery isn't dead, so we decided to go to Wal Mart in search of a 5 gallon bucket. We are going to make our own laundry detergent courtesy of The Simple Dollar. But do you think we could find a bucket at Wal Mart? It took quite awhile, and when we found it, we found the last one. And the lids are sold separately. So tonight, after getting home rather late from a friend's house, we will attempt to make the detergent. The start-up costs are a bit much - $5.30 for the bucket and lid, $3 for borax, $2 for soap, and $13 or so for some Arm and Hammer washing soap. I think it will be great fun, so long as a hole does not appear in my bucket, dear Liza.

The End?

2008-08-12T12:26:00.002-04:00

It could be a startling revelation: I may no longer be able to eat cake. We had a going away party for our friend Kyrgee, and perhaps mixing hard cider with cake was the wrong way to go. I tried eating a leftover piece yesterday and it tasted awful. I may have screwed up my love of vanilla cake, which is a pity because I love loving cake. Must try chocolate cake to see if I still love it. If not, I hope Angel B's doesn't close since they won't be getting my business anymore.

I hope it doesn't come to that. But perhaps this is a good thing, 53 days from the wedding....

We are Deer Whisperers

2008-08-09T08:53:00.002-04:00

Last night, Wiley and I went for a walk. I took him on the Clear Creek Trail, a place he'd never been in his 5 years here! While we were walking, Wiley asked me what else there was to see besides the sidewalk, trees and grass, and I told him that sometimes you can see geese, and just at that moment, he stopped me because he saw a fawn. He was about 30 feet away, and we stopped, and he looked like he was going to run, but I tugged on Wiley's arm and we turned away and started walking. So what did he do? He bounded after us. But we kept walking, and looked over our shoulder, and he kept bounding a little at a time, swishing his little tail up and down. I've never been followed by a deer, and had he been bigger, I might've been a bit alarmed. He kinda reminded me of my dog, Cricket, because he had such big ears and they were tuned on us. A biker was coming from the other direction, and his tires on the pavement made a noise that scared the fawn back into the brush, but then farther down our walk, we saw another one cross to the other side of the trail. No, we don't have much to look at on the trail, but sometimes you glance around and notice that nature is also observing you.

Catching Up.

2008-08-08T22:06:00.003-04:00

Lots has happened here in Bloomington in the past week. We have moved the cats from Temp House 1 to Temp House 2, and the transition apparently has not gone smoothly. Rewind and Dixie have been placed in a lovely room with a window, but there's another cat in the house, who is rather possessive of her digs. Rewind, being the little aggressive shit that he is, makes guttural growls that could replace the demon in The Exorcist, and has frightened the somewhat-aggressive residing cat into the basement. I'm tempted to pull him out just to make sure his health doesn't deteriorate. Into the storage unit for him.

We got Wiley's suit, and it looks smashing. I waited and waited for the sale to grab his shirt - who wants to pay $45 for a shirt? Anyone? Sorry, if you do, I don't get you. I don't want to pay $45 for a shirt. So I didn't. And I got it on sale! And two ties too. Today he took the pants in to be hemmed. I still have to take my dress and slip in. He's ahead of me.

Still waiting on the sample bouquet from the florist. Apparently her dealers don't have the goods in stock to make a silk bouquet. Aren't fake flowers around all the time? Especially to replace the ones in the pots that are dying because it's so damn hot??

Invitation responses are flowing, and more people so far are coming than are not. None of my family members have sent in their cards. Don't you know that you're coming? Hello?? Auntie Em?

Wiley got shorn today. He won't need a haircut again until after the wedding. His head almost looks normal-sized right after he gets it cut. For those of you who don't know him, he has a ginormous head. I used to joke with him that I felt sorry for his wife.

We'll be in KC on the 16th to see some friends and order Wiley's ring. Think I'm looking forward to the 8 hour car ride? Think again. Oh, yes, I look forward to some Oklahoma Joe's and Corner Cafe and Abuelo's, not to mention those friends, but man, do you know what's between Indiana and Missouri? That's right - Illinois. Slow driving. And more of the same that's in Indiana and Missouri: cows, tall grass, and road kill. Mm mm good.

We found the TV show Weeds. Love it. I'm going to miss cable. Having it for this month has been nice. There are these channels that play nothing but music. Have you ever?! Yeah, I know, get in the 21st century already. No! I'll not be a slave to my belongings! I chuckle as I sit at my laptop and Wiley sits at his. Sigh.

Can't win them all. Oh, but I did finally beat Wiley twice at racquetball. Fairly. And finally. I rule.

Can't Wait For Sunday.

2008-08-01T07:29:00.002-04:00

Sunday is a day where I have absolutely nothing that I have to do for anyone else. No work. No going anywhere except to feed the cats. Nothing.

I wish it was Sunday.

Aside from that, yesterday was the last day I ever have to deal with that shitty duplex. Funny how in only 4 months opinions can change. I went from being so ecstatic that I'd found a relatively inexpensive place to live to not being able to wait to move out (crappy landlord and flooding certainly helped darken the mood about my living conditions - and let's not forget to give Cornhole Joe an honorable mention, though he moved out of his duplex about a month ago).

So now we have exploded in true Wiley fashion at our temp digs, which we will try to put away this weekend. (Spices spices everywhere!) And the cats have been moved to their temp digs, and so far have done ok, but Dixie didn't eat much last night, and I'm sure she's hungry this morning.

And now that we have a bit more time for other things, we have started playing racquetball on a fairly regular basis, which is fun and sorely needed to make sure I fit into that dress. Wiley beats me every.single.time. And I missed the day in school when being a good sport was taught. So I use every tactic I can in order to distract him. Recently it's been singing "When the moon hits your eye like a big (and then I put in some odd word here), that's amore." I was able to keep ahead of him for most of the game, but when he decides he's had enough he hits these super power shots - low and fast that I have no hope of returning. But I'm working on it. I study him while he's playing and try to pick up what I can. Someday, I will beat him!!

We Made It.

2008-07-27T17:48:00.002-04:00

As true to my word, we arrived at 8:00 a.m. at Budget Truck Rental and surveyed the lot. Plenty of trucks had been dropped off overnight. Someone else came by, looked at the sign, noticed they didn't open until 9, and left. I planted my butt 3 feet in front of the store door and greeted Elizabeth 15 minutes later when she walked up. Half an hour later, another couple showed up, and five minutes after that, another person showed up. When one lady arrived right at 9:00, she said, "There's already a line? You've got to be kidding me." No, ma'am. Apparently most of us had been called yesterday and been informed of the first-come-first-served-your-reservation-don't-mean-squat-to-us spiel, so we were all ready to go.

The big stuff, as I call it, was moved into the truck, and out of the truck, rather effortlessly. That's probably because Wiley and GinnTacos loaded it, while I looked at their bad pack job. (We didn't need to pack it to the top, as most everything else had been moved. Seriously!) Everything we took over to the new house was put into the garage, and it fit. We thought we might be able to rearrange the bins, bed, desk, dresser, chairs, and ottoman after the actual owners of the house had vacated in order to get our car into the garage, but I don't really see that happening, and I'm ok with that. (We'll see how I feel in December when I go out to a freezing car!)

So now we are at the Temp House. Yesterday as we brought a few things over, people were already here, watching baseball. It was kinda awkward and I wonder if they'll be walking in on us (I doubt it, but I'll still make sure the doors are locked to give me a little notice if someone walks in.)

And now it's the beginning of Shark Week on Discovery! Not having had a TV with cable for the past 5 months, I've developed an appreciation for it. And I got to watch a shark give birth, which sounds kinda gross, but it's very cool.

So it's back to the old house to clean up, move the last remaining things, and feed the cats until later this week when they go to their new temp home. Then to the grocery store for cake. I can't fight this feeling anymore.

Maybe Buying a Truck Would be a Good Thing After All...

2008-07-26T21:18:00.003-04:00

Budget Rental Truck called me at 8:00 this morning, not identifying themselves at all. Originally, when I heard the message, I thought my florist was calling me telling me she was unable to make my bridal bouquet, but after listening to the message again, I realized that my reservation for a truck was in vain.

We made this reservation in May. We called earlier this week to confirm. So getting a call today was a little surprising. I called back.

"I'm sorry but we don't have a truck for you today," Elizabeth, the harried Budget Truck gopher, said.

"That's interesting, and unfortunate," I said, "if I had had a reservation for today. However, my reservation, that I made in May, and that I confirmed earlier this week, says I'm picking up a truck tomorrow."

"I show your reservation for today."

"Well, I guess your computer made a mistake because I have the confirmation email that says Sunday, July 27. So are you going to have a truck for me tomorrow?"

"I don't know," she said. "Our reservation center overbooked us (register my shock) and didn't shut down when they should have, and since we don't know when people made their reservations, it's first come first served. But I'll call you later this afternoon and update you."

Did she call? Of course not. So I called her 5 minutes before closing.

"So," I said, "if I show up tomorrow morning, and I'm the first one there, then the first truck that comes into the lot tomorrow morning should be my truck, right?"

Silence. Then a tentative, "I guess I could do that..."

I pressed, "Well, that is the first-come first-served way of doing things, right? That is what you mean, right?"

Is she used to dealing with idiots?

"I'll be there at 8," I said.

"We don't open until 9," she told me.

"I'll still be there at 8. I'm going to be the first one there, and I'll pick up the first truck on the lot tomorrow. I'll be outside while you open the store."

I've never been one to be somewhere so early that I can see people open the store, and I'm sure that it makes them uncomfortable. When I worked retail and people would be milling about outside for their BOGO fix, I hated the fact that I could see them and they could see me readying the store for the day's excitement. Didn't they have something better to do?

However, it seems that reservations mean nothing to Budget. And it's not like we have a truck or trailer that we can borrow at our whim. So I'll be putting on my curb-kicking shoes and getting my butt to the rental facility early, and I'm planting my butt right in front of the store door.

Where are all the Good Humans?

2008-07-22T17:43:00.003-04:00

Do you remember a time when somebody said they'd do something, and they'd actually do it? When someone's word actually meant something? I miss those days.

My landlord called me a liar. He likened me to the Boy Who Cried Wolf because I told him the oven was emitting a funny smell, and now smoke, albeit white, light smoke, not something to fill up the entire house, even after he supposedly looked at it. "I'll come over Sunday," he said. I emailed and texted him late Sunday. No response. I emailed Monday, asking if he was coming on Monday. "Well, the AC worked every time I came over to look at it (which was a lie because the first time it acted up, he was here and called the repairman himself), and it worked every time the repairman came (when he came a few days later and somehow the AC repaired itself). And I came over last week and didn't smell or see anything (the guy has told me he doesn't have a very sensitive nose), so I don't know what to do..."

Hmm..let's ponder. You're the friggin' landlord and you don't know what to do? You take care of your property. You fucking show up when you say you're going to, asshole. You actually come over WHEN I'M HOME so I know you're not making it up when you say you came over. You investigate the issue more than just turning a knob and standing there for 30 seconds (if you really did come over). You don't tell my fiance that I'm the tenant who cried wolf. Where would that get me? I'm trying to be a responsible tenant so YOUR property isn't damaged, and you reward that caution with a backhanded "By the way, I think you're a liar" by comparing me to a boy in a story who wanted attention? You are a slumlord, and I feel sorry for the people renting this after me. Karma's going to bite you in the ass someday, and when it does, I am going to have one hell of a smile on my face.

Ponderous

2008-07-18T23:22:00.001-04:00

While I was washing my face tonight, I looked at my hair. I got it cut quite short at my last appointment with a brand new stylist, and she definitely gave me my money's worth. I' m pretty sure I won't have to have it cut again before the wedding.

But as I looked at it, I noticed highlights. I thought this was odd, considering I haven't been outside all that much. And then it dawned on me.

Those aren't highlights. They're white, not gray, hairs. Stark white.

It's time to start the all-over coloring.

Hot in the City

2008-07-12T15:43:00.002-04:00

Well, after 9 hours in the car yesterday, I finally made it to Arkansas to see my Wiley.

For those of you who have iTunes, you can download an audiobook called The Alchemist - very good story, about 4 hours long...it REALLY helped me pass the hours by in the car (especially when the AC started blowing water vapor into the car and I thought I was going to end up on the side of the road).

Today has been wedding, wedding, wedding. We got a sample of our bottom layer - very tasty - and decided on the other three layers. From there it was over to the hairstylist, where my hair was teased and done all up like it would be for the wedding. Pretty good, but we'll see what I can do once I get the headband (any ideas for something that DOESN'T look like a tiara?). After that it was dropping the engagement photo off at a store in town and checking out the china and flatware I'd only seen online (I have great taste), then on to lunch to sample the BBQ we'll be having at our Friday night feast (if you like pork, you'll like this, but I got chicken strips and those were also excellent), and then on to the florist,who unfortunately didn't have anything for us because her computer crashed and her images were all on there. But we went through price and she said she'd make a sample bouquet out of artificial flowers so I could see the colors together. Out: terra cotta roses. In: Chinese red roses.

Now it's on to see the officiant, and then off to try to find a nice black suit.

But not before I grab one more sliver of cake.

it'shereit'shereit'shereit'shere

2008-07-08T23:33:00.004-04:00

The Golden Egg arrived today. I heard a door open. A man's voice said, "Hey there." The secretary up front answered in kind. "Have a nice day," the male voice said. And with that, the door closed.

Deflated, I went back to work.

Five minutes later, the door opened again, and a male voice said, "This was in the back of the truck. Looks a little beat up." My ears perked up. It had to be my dress.

My little red light on the phone lit up. "It's here."

I bolted the 12 steps to the front of the office and looked at my package. Poor wrap job. Can see inside. Where the hell is my dress? I rip open the package, and sure enough, there's my dress, all folded up and ready to be worn.

I tried to try it on in the bathroom, but with a corset back, that's difficult to do when you're the only one. It's not like putting a bra on, where when you were a kid, you were so inexperienced that you had to fasten the damn thing in front of you and then twist it around and then put the twins in. So I waited until tonight, when I could go to a friend's house, and she pulled and strung the lace in the eyelets, and a half hour later, I was strapped in and not going anywhere. It looks fabulous. I'm going to be one hot bride.

Tracking.

2008-07-07T16:17:00.003-04:00

My dress left its point of origin in Ohio on Thursday. It sat in another part of Ohio until today. Then it showed up in Hodgkins, Indiana. Google Maps said, "WTF? There's no Hodgkins, Indiana." Kinda funny when Google Maps spazzes like that. An hour later, my dress showed up in Hodgkins, Illinois. A half hour ago, it left Hodgkins, Illinois.

Yeah, I'm a little anxious to get this thing...it was only promised to me a month ago! And I'm a bit worried that I've not seen any pictures of it yet, which is not what was supposed to happen.

So, if this doesn't work out, anyone got a spare wedding gown?

UPDATE: Now my dress is in Davenport, Iowa. I do not understand why it keeps going north and west from where I am. Anybody know exactly how this UPS ground shipping works?????

Twiddling.

2008-07-06T21:32:00.004-04:00

A day can go so slowly when you are waiting for something to happen. I'm waiting for Wiley to call and tell me he's landed, but his last flight of the day has been delayed. In an effort to keep myself preoccupied all day, I've picked blueberries, taken a nap, talked to family (though I would've done that anyway because during the weekend my minutes are free), done a little online shopping, watched various movies and episodes of Nip/Tuck, ripped off a toenail that had it coming, read pages from a book, and checked to see if I knew anyone new on Facebook. It's this last preoccupation that has prompted me to write.

High school wasn't exactly a glorious time for me. I fared pretty well - was a cheerleader for a couple of years, played volleyball, dated a guy, was the principal 2nd violinist, seemed to have a fair number of friends....but I have only kept in touch with a handful, and I really could care less about the rest. My best friend and I had a parting of the ways, my mother died, my father continued his quest down the bottle, and I ended up living with my grandparents, who were cool, but I missed having a shower and air conditioning. But hey, I got a cat.

I noticed quite a few of my former friends on FB, and I'm faced with the option of pretending they don't exist or perhaps contacting them to see if they want to get back in touch. Many of them have children now, though some don't. One of them has what looks like a nude picture of Magnum P.I. as his picture, but I honestly think it's him. Many of them stayed in town, which is something that puzzles me - not just about my classmates, but people in general - I was never one who wanted to stay in my hometown. Jiminycricket, I'd been there for 22 years. Time to get out and see the world! You can always go home and visit - but to stay? Maybe I have it backwards and should've stayed home and visited the rest of the world.

And while I'm looking through their pictures, I wonder where some of them are (as the profiles don't say), and when looking at others', that competitive drive stirs.

Where does this come from? Here are people I haven't seen in well over 13 years (ohmygawd), probably will never see them again, yet there's this little voice that says, Well, look at what some of them have done. What about you? Look at your pathetic number of friends! Loser!

Can someone please shut this voice up? Apparently my booze of choice isn't working.

The Day Before

2008-07-05T22:31:00.002-04:00

In 15 minutes, I will wake Wiley up for the last time this year in Sarajevo. He will be on several flights tomorrow, navigating through airports and security, to come back to the U.S. It is very bittersweet.

I enjoyed my time abroad, even though I had my share of difficulties (language barrier, not a fan of lamb, stinky, slow trains and long busrides to get anywhere else in Europe). I enjoyed hearing about Wiley's adventures, though I hated the fact that I wasn't still there with him to experience everything first-hand. And I have an online diary of our relationship, which is always nice to reread.

On the other hand, after a couple of months, I got tired of the online relationship. Bloomington isn't the same. I miss my partner. We're facing a move at the end of this month (this will be the third time this year I've moved, not including one more at the end of August into our new digs), and Wiley's muscles will be a welcome sight. It'll be nice to snuggle up again, or take a nap, in Wiley's arms.

So tomorrow, while he is fighting sleep and stressing out that his 2 bags may be over 50 pounds each, I'll be stressing about him making his connections and if he was able to take his carryon and personal item on board with him. I hope to sleep late and then to work to keep my mind somewhat distracted until he arrives safe and sound at the airport near his parent's home. And then in 6 days, I get to claim him as mine again.

This week better go fast.

In the meantime, Scribblings from Sarajevo will probably undergo a few changes, maybe take a hiatus, as neither of us will be in Sarajevo for quite some time.

Time to wake the man.

Envy.

2008-07-04T20:18:00.000-04:00

Look at my blueberries. I picked over six cups today. That makes 12 cups in my freezer. Do you want some? Are you jealous of my berries? Mmmhmmm, I think so. I know that look. I know you are. You want my berries.
Tough noogies.

Good Old Fashioned Fun

2008-07-04T01:21:00.006-04:00

What a way to end the day. Almost upon accident, I stumbled across information that Lifehouse was going to be playing at the Bluebird here in town. Without a moment's notice, I grabbed a ticket. The last time I saw them was in 2001 at the Murat in Indy at a radio show. The worst part of the evening was when Jamie Lynn Siegler, who you may know as Meadow Soprano, came out and sang a song. She was the first voice behind the Levi's commercial where the low cut jeans were in and belly buttons were coming out. Atrocious. But I digress. My main reason for going was to see Lifehouse. Loved this band.

And in 2008, I'm still very much a fan. I took a hiatus from banding after my stint in 2001, and while I'd always kinda kept up with Lifehouse, one of their songs released just didn't really strike the right chord with me. But then I heard their new single from "Who We Are" and thought, Hey, this is catchy in a good way. So interest was renewed.

I got to the bar at 7:45 or so and there was already a small line formed. I got behind a couple of gals and stood there, one big alone loser. Luckily another loser was behind me and we quickly became winners while waiting for the doors to open. Since we both came by ourselves, we decided to go ahead and stand next to each other. Seeing the band was not a problem.

The first band was called Absentstar, a band out of Chicago. Skinny jeans are in, and I just don't know why. I could tell Derek, the lead singer, had on boxers because they bunched. Guys, here's a hint: we don't really need to see that. And while you're at it, having legs smaller than me does not win you points.

Turns out the guys are actually pretty nice, and a few of them grew up in Bedford. I've heard Bedford is kinda like Raytown...so I stay away. Looks like they'll be back at the Bluebird in a week or so, so maybe I'll catch them again. The music was good, but the words were difficult to understand.

And then there was Lifehouse. I'd never seen the new bassist, Bryce, up close. The boy is tall. And blonde. And really thin. Not my type except for the tall part.

I have to say that I just love seeing a band in a small venue. You get to be so close , and you're all huddled together to be as close to the stage as possible. There's just something about it. See more pictures here.

Thanks much for coming to Bloomington, guys. It was a great time. I made a new friend, I got some new music, and I have crickets to keep me company all night long. Crickets, Dear Reader, are friends that visit you after the amps have been put away and the screaming has subsided. Crickets will stay with you for a couple of days. Eventually too many crickets lead to hearing loss, as I'm going to experience sooner than later. (Yes, Auntie Em, I had earplugs - at home. I forgot, and yes I really did.)

The Lid, She Is Off

2008-07-01T22:19:00.004-04:00

Need to vent.

Why is it so hard to let go of friendships that were false from the start? I have known someone for a period of years (about 8 or so), who I thought was a pretty good friend. Then I got divorced and I think it kinda creeped her out because all of a sudden, I stopped being invited to her house. Around the same time, I found out that this person had been talking about me behind my back (yeah, I know, in this world that's hardly a surprise), but what she said was such a surprise that I literally burst out crying. This was someone who I thought was a very good friend - who was close to me. I let her into my home and let down my guard, and she put a knife in my back.

Time has passed, but I am somewhat unable to let go. I remain cordial because we still share friends, but I really just want to tell this person that I know what she did and it hurt me, and that while everyone else thinks she's the bee's knees, I know deep down that she's not a nice person. But of course, if I ever do mention this, first, she won't remember doing it, and second, she'll go running around to people again talking about my confrontation with her. So in the end, suck it up Melinda and just go on about life and forget about her. Ruminating doesn't change the outcome. That still doesn't make it easy to forgive and forget. Or just forgive.

I feel better.

Pluckin

2008-06-29T18:55:00.002-04:00

Friends are gone for the summer, but in their wake, they left six blueberry bushes that need picking. Tonight was my first assignment, so I went over at 5 and for half an hour, crowded around these berry bushes bigger than myself and went to town. I probably picked 5 cups' worth. Now they're washed and freezing in a single layer in the fridge. Soon it will be blueberry streusel coffeecake time. I go back in two days.

And I'm taking one helluva big bowl.

Starry Night.

2008-06-27T00:12:00.003-04:00

I love Wiley's friends. I had an idea to have one last get-together for J&A before they go to Europe for two months and come back newlyweds. So I made a pork tenderloin with rosemary and plum sauce, rice pilaf and my Oreo cookie salad. Other people brought salads and meats and spinach dip, and it was all very tasty. I think we all feel very fat.

It would seem to certain people that I'm not shy. I've recently been called meddlesome, albeit in a good-natured way; and outgoing. And while I suppose my stories of meeting and talking to people on plane trips is not your idea of a shy person, in large social situations, I can be. Tonight, I got there late, which is unusual, but unexpected visitors dropped by as I was making a mess of my kitchen and my clothes. No problem, they hadn't started eating. I joked and laughed and talked to most of the people, and then I sat down.

Maybe sitting down is the problem. Before I knew it, I was just a listener with nothing to contribute. Sports this, political science that, little convos here and there, and I'm not an active participant. One is talking about her wedding plans, and then the other is talking about what they're planning to do in Prague. While I enjoy hearing snippets of everything, I feel left out.

So I went blueberry hunting. J&A have a wonderful garden with ripe, fresh, untainted blueberries. And we chatted about this and that, which I thoroughly enjoyed. Then we came back to the group and they chatted, and I listened, and at 11:15, I decided I should go home so I could get up and work tomorrow. I said my goodbyes and gave hugs and decided when I'd be back to blueberry hunt, when J walked me out.

J is a very interesting man. College tennis player, super smart, very personable, has just about anything you could ever need at his house that you can borrow at any time...like a kayak, and a weedwhacker. But we've never had much occasion to talk. I suppose I feel a little tongue-tied, though I don't know why. Tonight, it seemed he let down his guard a little bit, and let me inside. We chatted about weddings, about families, about work, and a half-hour later, I'm home, with fresh blueberries and a feeling inside.

I think it's happiness.

Hauntings

2008-06-25T22:21:00.005-04:00

It's been roughly four years or so since the breakup of my first marriage. Someone at work was quite surprised when she found out I was married. "You?" she said. Yeah, I know, cute little inquisitive thing like myself, sometimes described by another as meddlesome, with a big smile and flashy eyes, is a divorcee. Just goes to show you we all have our skeletons, and nothing is as it seems.

It wasn't until talking to Wiley later today that I realized sometimes I am still haunted by my ex. I never really saw it while we were married, but he was quite a control freak. When I still talked to him, of course I could see it, but it's funny how much you get burned when you're close to the flame but you never realize it's happening until you move away from it. While I was married, nearing the end of the 8 years we'd been together, but not knowing it at the time, my ex told me he'd lost respect for me because I had no goals. And because I'd "gotten fat". I'll let that one go for now. But as for the goals, he was right: I had no goals. To me, I see goals as too far in the future - and if you focus too much on the future, you lose sight of the present. I'm currently reading Never Eat Alone, which is changing my view on goals, slowly. But I can see that it still affects me. I want people to be proud of me. I want people to respect me. I think I didn't get enough of that when I was a child that I still crave it now, sometimes ferociously. I worry that Wiley won't continue to love me because I haven't figured myself out yet, that I don't have goals that are concrete. Through tears and snorts on the phone because one nostril fills up quicker than the other (this is something that I must've had before going to Bosnia but never noticed until I went there, got infected, and came home thinking it'd go away, and surprise, it hasn't), I unleashed my thoughts to Wiley, who patiently listened to my snorts in his ear, rather loudly at times because when you have on headphones and a mic is right next to your face, it's a bit difficult to regulate, then told me that he wanted to give me the space to figure myself out and the ability to do so without any pressure from him. (And that my ex beat me down too much.) "All my friends go through this," he reassured me, to which I hiccuped, "At my age?" and he chuckled and said, "Close enough."

Puffy eyes are mostly dry now (must remember to get cucumber packs ready for the wedding just in case a tear is shed). Thanks, Wiley. I love you so very much.

Yay Me

2008-06-25T20:44:00.002-04:00

Two months at my new job.

16 days until I see Wiley again.

One bookcase sold.

Life is good.

Island Memories

2008-06-21T20:46:00.002-04:00

When I was 16, I was lucky enough to go on vacation with my parents to the little island of Kauai. Granted, vacationing with parents when you're 16 never really sounds like fun, but I got to go to Hawaii, while Iowa was dealing with winter, and frolic on beaches. I went horseback riding in a sugar cane field that led to a sandy white beach with crystal blue water. I got to go to a luau and watch hula girls and guys dance and play with fire. Some guy in his 20s thought I looked cute while feeding peacocks and gave me his phone number. (What, I was going to give him mine? Ha. I knew how to play the game.) While it was only 70 degrees and the locals were wearing jeans and sweaters, we were wearing swimsuits and shorts and laying out near the water. We went just a couple of years after a hurricane blew through, and the island wasn't up and running yet. People were living in the condos we were staying at because they had nowhere else to go. I thought it was kinda fun to have roosters wake me up at 5 am. In Hawaii!

And I don't know why the memory struck me tonight, but I remember going to the grocery store with my mom. It was just the two of us - my dad and his mom were back at the condo, and friends who had come with us were off on the island doing their own thing. I marveled at a $5.00 gallon of milk. Paradise, it seemed, came with a cost.

While we were getting in line, a man with a small red basket of items came up to us and asked my mom to help him pay for his groceries. She faltered and said she couldn't. He said, "That's ok," and then left, leaving the basket near the front of the store. Mom immediately regretted her decision and told me to go running after him to find him, and I tried, but when I got outside, he was nowhere in sight. I found it a little odd. He wasn't more than 10 seconds ahead of me, and the parking lot was large, but he was just gone. Vanished.

After my mom passed away a few short months later, I thought about this incident. In addition to this oddity, not long before my mom passed away, she told me of a strange dream, only she swore it wasn't a dream. She said she woke up in the middle of the night, and a cloaked figure was standing at the foot of the bed. She called out my name because I was the only other one in the house (Dad was sleeping next to her). The figure didn't move, didn't say a word, just stood there. She told me she hid under the covers, and when she looked again, the figure was gone.

I wouldn't say that I was superstitious, but after she died, I really started to wonder at these two phenomenon. Was the man in Kauai an angel testing her to see how nice she was and if she passed the test, would she have lived? Who was the cloaked figure? Another angel, deciding it was definitely her that was going to be next?

More likely than not, the guy in Hawaii was probably someone who just happened to look at a lady who had a kid and thought she looked nice enough to help him out. She was; she just thought of my dad and how mad he would've been if he knew she spent money to help a complete stranger, and having to deal with a mad alcoholic is no way to spend a vacation.

The cloaked stranger likely was a dream as well, but you know there are times when dreams feel so real (like every night as I'm going to bed and I dream a spider is spinning a web down to my bed), you're convinced you were awake.

Is there a point to this story? Not so much. But if you're looking for one, stop being a schmuck and be nice. Help someone out, especially someone who a) could really use it and/or b) doesn't expect it.

No Corn for Me

2008-06-21T20:20:00.002-04:00

With the floods this year, corn is nearing $8 a bushel. That's quite a lot for roughage. I shan't be eating any this year.

What is booming, thanks to the floods, are the mosquitoes. In Iowa, there are 7 times more mosquitoes this year than last year.

Know what this means?

I ain't going home.

Shovel, swat and swim. This is not a good year for my little home state.

Packing Up The House

2008-06-19T21:00:00.002-04:00

So Wiley and I decided it was time to unload some of our stuff. While I think I've done a pretty good job of ~~throwing out his stuff~~ merging our things, more can go since we're moving into a fully furnished house in a few months. So Wiley sent out a general email to friends, and I figured this stuff would be gone by the time we left this place. The same day, he started getting bites for things, so now I'm in ultra-pack mode to clean out bookcases and a microwave cart. Who knew people moved so quickly??

And the mice seem to have come back in droves. So far, there are 7 holes in the dirt around the foundation. Thankfully, over 30 bins are out of the house, so there's really not much the buggers can get into.

And Rewind eats spiders. Ew.

Dancin' in My Home

2008-06-17T22:26:00.002-04:00

Yesterday: sunny.

Today: sunny.

Tomorrow when I last checked: sunny with a stray thunderstorm.

Thursday: sunny.

Friday: sunny.

Today, I could hear the creek, but I could not see the creek. The temperature was in the high 70s with a good wind...it was the kind of day where you would stay outside and then get sunburned because you never realized just how much sun was actually hitting you.

Glorious. I will take my rays of sunshine and the drying out of the Earth for as long as it is possible. Hopefully the Midwest can stay dry so the swelling of the rivers can go down or at least give the people some time to fill as many sandbags as possible to help the levees.

Amazing.

2008-06-14T21:40:00.003-04:00

A cornfield that's not yet under water.

My sister took this picture near Waterloo, Iowa. Perhaps the beginning of a tornado?

How Many Ulcers Can You Get In A Season?

2008-06-13T20:04:00.004-04:00

I echo Cara's sentiment. I'm so done with this weather. Today it poured while I was taking the business mail to the post office. I thought, Here we go again. Some roads flooded a bit, but not as badly as before. But now, anytime it rains, I think that this is it, my house is going down in water, and it's a race with the devil to get home to save the cats.

And now Cedar Rapids is full of water.

I can't even get home to help - tons of roads are closed.

The Cedar River is going to crest at 15 feet above flood stage.

People joked about building Arks. Jehovah's Witnesses came to my door. Wiley asked me, "What are you doing tonight?" I told him I'd be watching the Weather.com channel and running to my front door to assess the rising water in Clear Creek.

It's been a fun night.

And I Thought I Had it Bad...

2008-06-11T20:58:00.005-04:00

This is my hometown. Today I heard on NPR that my little home town was sandbagging like crazy, trying to keep out the water from the Cedar River. Turns out that the water has crested and is going down a bit, but unfortunately they're supposed to get more rain in the next few days. Downtown has been evacuated. My sister said they have the presidential state of emergency, which is big news. To put this in perspective, here is a picture of the Ice House Museum on a dry day. I'm told currently has about 8-10 feet inside of it.

And this is the boat house:

In this YouTube clip, all you can see of the boat house is the roof.

Giggles.

2008-06-08T22:07:00.002-04:00

I was checking out a friend's Facebook page today, and this little quote struck me as funny:

"If we are what we eat, I'm cheap, fast and easy."

Moo.

I Don't Like Thunderstorms Anymore.

2008-06-04T21:17:00.003-04:00

Do you ever get that feeling in your gut? The kind that you wish you didn't get? I'm not talking gas. I mean have you ever had the feeling that maybe you should've thought through something just a bit more before deciding to do it?

I had that feeling. Right after I signed my lease.

After the ink was dry, a little voice popped into my head. "Sure, living near the creek is nice," it whispered, "but aren't you just a little too close in the event of a flood?"

"Too late now," I hissed to myself.

Today, that little voice came back booming: TOLD YOU SO!!

Bloomington got nailed today with flash floods. I've never been in a flash flood. I've heard about them, sometimes think people are idiots for driving through water they know they shouldn't and then have their engines stall, really think people who go walking around in flood water have a death wish.

And now I can say I am one of them.

I left home this morning at 8:10, noticed the very high creek, and then thought, Boy, I hope that's all the rain we get today. Ha. Not by a long shot.

At 4:30, the rain came down so hard in all different directions, I thought we were going to have to take cover. A tornado had been reported aways away. But at 5, it seemed things were quieting down. That's when I get out onto the road and have to drive through a trickle of water. No problem. A little farther down, a larger puddle of water. Everyone else is going through it, even littler cars than Civics. No problem. Turn down the wrong road, the main road, and that's when I see Lake Bloomington covering the intersection of 3rd and College Mall Road. Normally, we don't have a Lake Bloomington. But there it was, taunting us all. Great. Now what? Sit like a duck in rising water? I think not. Even though a Passat stalled out, I again noticed smaller cars risking their necks, and decide if it stalls, it stalls, and I go through. Miraculously, my car went through without any problems, but I'd had enough. I went to the mall and pulled in a spot. Why risk death? I called my next door neighbor, and he said that the road wasn't completely flooded, but he couldn't pull into his driveway, so he parked in mine. The back yard was filling, and almost to my door, but I had a few feet left. Forty minutes later, I was able to drive down my street, and that's when I stopped about 5 houses up because the water had risen.

My house was completely surrounded by water. The creek overflowed, and it looked like there was never a small creek, but a raging river. I had no backyard. The patio furniture and little table were completely under water. Had my hammock been hanging up, you wouldn't have seen most of it.

Now, I know you're not supposed to walk through flood water. But how about stumbling and running? In professional work clothes? Well, Dear Reader, that's what I did. I had to save the cats! It's amazing how much you don't think about your safety when you're worried and your mind is in overdrive. I could give a shit about my belongings. They're going into storage anyway. But my precious animals I needed to save. Nevermind the fact that they're cats and hate water, so likely would've climbed on the couch or the table to avoid getting wet.

I finally made it inside, and to my complete amazement, the water hadn't seeped in. Had I opened my back door, it would've been inside. And it's in my crawl space. I can smell it. But the floor was dry and the cats were fine. For all the bugs, when it really counted, this little duplex stood her ground, and I am grateful. I was starting to pack things up and get the cats and leave because the water seemed to be getting higher, but Wiley calmed me down and said not to go anywhere because it shouldn't get any higher. It hasn't.

Now it's 9:30, and not only can I see my driveway, but I can see my backyard. I even drove the car down and parked it, though we're supposed to get more severe storms tonight and I'm worried that it's going to flood again. Let's just say sleep tonight will not be easy.

In the meantime, I have the computer ready to go if I need to make a dash. The cats' carrier is out in the living room, I have a change of clothes in my bookbag, and I've packed up the books that were on the lowest shelf and gotten everything off the floor, should the house decide to flood while I'm not in it (say, tomorrow).

It was such a feeling of helplessness. Can't sandbag - won't do any good. Can't fill bins and take them somewhere. The car's all the way up the street and the current was strong. The only thing I could do was stare and make a circle, not knowing where to start should I actually make a break for it. Thankfully, I didn't have to, and now I'm ready should I need to.

And on a positive note, any little mice that were in the crawlspace are now floating bodies.

I have pictures, but they're on my phone and I don't know how to get them off because I no longer have the option to send them. Once I figure that out, I'll update.

Awake.

2008-05-31T20:04:00.004-04:00

I slept terribly last night. But I had a pretty fun dream. Picture it:

Sarajevo, Bosnia (if you need help, check out pictures on the blog). Wiley and I are in the apartment. The mosque that's behind our building is now in front of our building. And who should appear to sing in front of it but Ric Ocasek from The Cars, as well as Jolly St. Nick....yep, Santa. What did they sing? I don't know. I don't remember that part. All I know is that they were popular. After their song, a lady named Olivia, who apparently lived next door to us, showed us that the desk we had in the living room converted to an organ. The wood had an orange tinge to it. Then, instead of my leaving, Wiley was the one who left. He got into his car that was sitting in the garage on the top floor of the apartment building, and he drove away, leaving me to try and communicate with a woman whose language I didn't speak.

Very vivid. I haven't had a dream like this in a long while!

Duuuddeeeee...NSFW

2008-05-30T19:06:00.002-04:00

Disclaimer: Probably not the best post to read while you're at work, especially if Big Brother is watching you. Come back later.

And now, on to the show.

A long time ago, Meesha posted about an ad he found on Craigslist. Intrigued, I went on CL myself and decided to hit up the Erotica section. Now, maybe that's not exactly where Meesha was, but OMG I could not believe the stuff people post.

Pictures. Nekkid pictures. Tall-dark-women-in-white-stilettos-buck-nekkid pictures. Older women holding their blue ta-tas in their hands pictures. I'd link but I just can't do it. Just take my word, or go to the Bloomington CL. Even a pic of a man's abs and the rest of him in shorts.

Women offering themselves for dollars an hour.

Isn't this what we call a prostitute?? How in the world is this even legal? Why don't these get flagged? WTF?

I never bothered looking at the Erotica section while I was in KC, so I don't know how it compares to the Bloomington CL. And while there's not a whole lot of women offering themselves, it was still more than I thought. Perhaps I'm just a big prude who didn't think she was a prude.

And part of me really wonders how much these girls make. Or how hard it is to get paid for sex. I mean, after all, I do live in a town where 40,000 students reside. Any weekend night you can find many a scantily-clad girl walking the street to the bar, or stumbling home from the bar holding onto a new friend who will get that booty. They give it away. But here on CL, we got girls who'll give to a guy who'll pay...or even a girl. But I didn't look there. Nothankyouverymuch.

Today We Rock

2008-05-28T19:48:00.002-04:00

Lately I've noticed myself slipping. Not as happy, avoiding people, letting the house go...oh, wait, that was going on before....oh well...not caring as much that the house is messy. But today, today, I rocked my world.

I made Indian food.

Edible Indian food.

You don't understand what this does for me. Wiley learned how to make Indian food while we were in Sarajevo. I tried it in Iowa at my grandma's house, but I forgot one very important ingredient - tomato paste. Yes, tomato paste. You read right. And it was ok, but not great, and I didn't attempt it again for two and a half months.

So while I was at the store, I picked up a can of tomato paste. Last night I took one chicken breast out of the freezer to let it thaw overnight, and tonight, I put on my little plastic gloves (touching raw meat is disgusting to me and I can't do it), cooked my chicken, then put in all my ingredients.

And it friggin' rocked.

Rocked, I tell you.

Can you tell how happy I am that I was able to make something edible and tasted good and wasn't a dessert?! Wiley thinks I keep him around 'cuz he can cook; there are other reasons now!

Turtle-icious

2008-05-25T19:37:00.003-04:00

Well, I have to say that Target's SPF 50 certainly did the trick, so save a buck and don't get Coppertone. I'm just as white as I always am. Today I went out with a friend and rented a kayak to go out on Griffy Lake. We had a quick breakfast at the Runcible Spoon and headed on our merry way to this lake that's very close to campus. Before getting in the boat, I slathered on my face sunscreen and my sport sunscreen. We were on the lake for about an hour and a half, and I barely got anything...a little sun would be nice, especially on the legs, but it wasn't to be today.

Instead, what I got was turtles. Lots and lots of turtles. On our way back to the boathouse, we spotted 18 on one single log sunning themselves! All different shapes and sizes. We also saw a heron, an egret, a duck, and several geese.

And to top it all off tonight, I saw a mouse. Outside my back door. Rewind went a little nutters at the door, so I stepped outside and became a statue. After a few minutes, my crouch was rewarded with a little grey nose poking out of the hole under the concrete slab that I was standing on. He took a little bite of leaf, then ducked back under. I wasn't actually sure it was a mouse - I couldn't find any eyes on it at all...in fact, it looked like where the eyes were were just little grey dots of nothing. So part of me wondered if it was a mole. Whatever it was, it was small, and as soon as it smelled me, was gone. Then, not a minute later, I heard rustling of leaves...turns out by my air conditioner, there's a rather large hole going into what I think is the bottom of the house. So I emailed my landlord and said more poison was needed. Then I realized my landlord is a schmuck and decided to put my electronic trap outside to trap The Thing That Lives. We'll see if I'm successful. If I'm not and I have another mouse to deal with inside, you'll be hearing me curse all the way from Indiana.

Have I mentioned how happy I am that I am leaving this place??

Uggghhh.....

2008-05-23T23:20:00.004-04:00

Not again is what I want to say. Is there ever a time in your life when you're supposed to feel settled? I've been feeling very unsettled lately. Oh sure, Dear Reader, you can point to the fact that I'm living among storage bins and getting ready to move for the third time in a year - those things may in fact lead to a feeling of being unsettled. But it's more than that.

I believe it is the setting in of Cold Feet.

I find this hysterical as well as, well, unsettling. Hysterical because there's really no reason for it. Unsettled because there's really no reason for it.

See my state of confusion? I'm talking in circles!

Some people, though it seems the list is shrinking, don't know that this will be Marriage Number Two for me. While I'm not embarrassed now to say I screwed the pooch on the first one (though I felt like I was wearing a giant red "D" on my chest for a long time), it always surprises me when someone I didn't think knew comes to me and says, "So I hear you've already been married! What happened? How long were you together?" Groan. Eight years total. I had issues, he had issues, we couldn't work through said issues, relationship kaput. We're not bad people; we just didn't work well enough together. End of story. Pick self up, brush off dust, begin anew.

While I like to think that I have effectively dealt with my past, sometimes it bites me in the butt. Every so often I wonder if I'm going to screw this one up too. More than one person has asked me if I'm really ready to walk down the aisle again, knowing full well that it too could end badly. Every single time I say, "Yes," without hesitation. But the past couple of weeks, I think, Really?

The past couple of weeks have been very difficult. I've decided that two months is about all I can handle living without Wiley. After that, things seem to break down just a bit. I get testier with him. I suppose that it's during these times of separation that I really start questioning everything. We have a good, strong relationship. But it really does get tested when we don't get along and there's an ocean separating us. I know that communication is key, but sometimes I find it so difficult to really say what I need to say to make my feelings heard. When I'm mad, I tend to act out: fester, blow, retreat to cool off, come back to it with a calmer head. I had such a good handle on not festering and not blowing for the longest time, but lately I haven't been able to do as good a job.

I left Sarajevo early, too early, it seems. The whole city has come to life. Wiley tells me of all his outings and people who come to visit him. Last week it was some chick from IU who stayed with him all week - I trust him, no problems, though I got tired of hearing "we went to dinner, then went to lunch...". Not long before that, it was a friend from Austria, and next weekend, another friend from Austria. Part of me wants to say, What are you doing? Are you really working? Because all you tell me is when you go out. I'm working my ass off over here and he's working but not in the same way. Grr. The rational side of me knows that he's working, really, he is. The side of me that's really tired of being apart wants to scream, "Work the weekends so you can come home early!" Not an option, and I know this, but I still want!!! We work very well together most of the time. I just miss my man.

Add to this the fact that I'm not a goal-setter. I actually really don't like the word "goal" because I think it forces people to think so much about the future that they miss the present. However, part of me is nagging myself. Are you sure you're not just lazy? my inner self will say. You go home after work and stay in, hardly go out, don't open up a book though you read a lot of blogs. The goal I suppose I had before going to Sarajevo was to go back to school. I broke it down to be more manageable - researched schools, figured out how to pay for it, got letters of recommendation, wrote a personal statement, handed over my money and applied, even got accepted! Now it seems like something that's not going to be tangible for a few years, and now I'm also starting to question if it's what I really want to do. So now what??? Good at this, good at that....but you know, for all the things I'm good at (advice, violin, photography, the occasional blog-post or some other writing piece), I would trade them in to be great at just one thing. To have passion for just one thing that I could pour myself into, that's what I want. Maybe then I would be a little more settled. At 31, I'm supposed to be settled, damnit, not feel like I'm just graduating college and have my whole life ahead of me so I can make a few wrong turns. Where is my path?

Tomato Garden

2008-05-23T21:56:00.001-04:00

Here's a joke from my sister:

Tomato Garden

An old Italian lived alone in New Jersey . He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard.

His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old ma n wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament: Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love, Papa
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Pop,
Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried.
Love, Vinnie
At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.

That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Pop,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you, Vinnie

Oh, Only 6 Days

2008-05-21T21:59:00.003-04:00

I thought it had actually been longer than that since the last post.

Latest developments: we get to move into our friend's house. On August 28th. And from July 31 until then, we're essentially homeless. We are able to stay at a friend's apartment while she's gone, but we'll have to share the place with her roommate for a couple of weeks, which could be interesting considering I realized she had the hots for Wiley a couple of years ago...nothing too major...a small crush, but still. The cats unfortunately will need to board elsewhere, as our friend has allergies and is worried that the cat hair will forever be in the carpet.

In the meantime: I have little black bugs in the house. Bugs isn't quite the right word. They're the size of maggots, but they're black, not yellow. Do maggots come in another color? I don't smell anything out of the ordinary. Originally, when they were landing in my toilet, I wasn't too concerned because hey, it's the toilet. They fall from the bathroom vent into the toilet, which just leaves me to flush. But then I started noticing them coming out of the wall between my bedroom and the bathroom, and I got slightly freaked out. First, the cats could eat them. Second, just what are they? Third, why are they here? Roly polies I can deal with. Spiders I can even deal with - although since about the time I moved in here, at least once or twice a week as I'm falling asleep, I have a dream that I'm watching a spider descend from the ceiling. And we're talking giganto-spiders, like tarantula size. So I flip on my light and look around, only to realize I'm dreaming. In my linen closet, I ran into some kind of insect I'd never seen before...looked like a green cricket. I looked at him. He looked at me. I gave him the speech I give most of the bugs: "Outside, you're fine, inside, you're mine," squish. Earlier this week a friend told me that it's a carmel spider or something like that - it jumps, and I mean, jumps. My friend had one in his basement while I was doing a little paperwork for him and I decided for the day to name him Juan. Yesterday, when I went over, Juan was missing. I'm guessing Juan went the way of the dodo. Apparently, I'm not the only one with house rules for insects. Anyway, back to the black maggots...I can deal with them, but I really don't want to. Is this a lesson in control? That I've gone back to my ways of worrying about every little thing and by dealing with all of these critters I have to learn that I can't control everything? Bah.

The new job is going well. Today I got an ergonomic keyboard. I've named her Darth. She's all black and shiny and just a beastly thing. I hope it works better than my old keyboard. At least this one has no crumbs in it! And apparently I am liked - today my boss told me that no one could hire me away - "I will find them!" she said. It could have been helped by the fact that I brought in cupcakes, but this really was said before she tried them and exclaimed them to be the best cupcakes she'd ever tasted. Yep, I know my bakeries. My taste buds sing.

Bloomington is a little quieter now thanks to the students going home for summer vacation. But seriously people, we need to work on the 4-way stops. They go, then you go. Then they go, and you go. If you get there the same time as others, the person to the right has the right of way. (Right?) If someone doesn't want to go and the person who's facing you decides to go and you got there at the same time, it's ok to proceed as well. You don't get extra points for one car going at a time through an intersection.

On the other hand, I have got to hand it to the road crews. This morning, I drove on a road that was barren - all old asphalt taken off. Today, at lunchtime, all 4 lanes had been repaved. So there are some perks to living in a small town after all...

Rethinking.

2008-05-15T20:38:00.003-04:00

As I drove through the hills of Indiana, and saw what might go on in the country, I decided that maybe living in the country wouldn't be a good thing after all. After living across the street from Cornhole Joe, I think that perhaps living in quiet solitude might be the nicest thing in the world. It is raining outside, lots of puddles big enough to swallow your car, and what is Cornhole Joe doing? Revving his truck engine and making us listen to some shit blasting out of it. On Tuesday he had a few people outside his house, one of them a very pregnant girl about ready to drop twins. I haven't figured out if he's got a girlfriend with kids or a baby momma, or maybe both.

I am so happy I'll be moving out of here soon.

Titles...

2008-05-13T17:51:00.002-04:00

Many times, I don't know what to title my posts...Good Grief!? Oh, wait...done that one already. Speechless? Oh, yeah, done that one too. So maybe I'll just start numbering for something a bit different.

Wiley got accepted into a conference taking place in November in...drum roll, please...I SAID DRUM ROLL, PLEASE!!!....Amsterdam! Yeah, home of all things legal. Amsterdam was a place I'd visited 10 years ago for just one night. It was where I saw my first marijuana joint up close and personal - IN A STORE. I bought a painting from that store. I still have it. It's currently over the entryway into the kitchen.

Walking through the Red Light district was entertaining. There were lots of women, even more men, and quite a few of them in the leather getup typically seen in your Police Academy movies at the Blue Oyster bar. I was taken by the canal running through the middle of the city, the bustling nightlife, the heated towel bars, and I hoped that someday, I'd be back.

Wiley has emailed the Powers That Be to see if it's possible to take a spouse along (since by that time, I'll be a spouse!). While he's at a conference, I could be walking around the city, taking pictures galore. Keep your fingers crossed.

New Uses for Everyday Things

2008-05-11T19:11:00.001-04:00

Courtesy of YouTube and Pangea Day:

Blowing off steam

2008-05-10T15:25:00.004-04:00

Customer service is right out the window. I called a flower shop to see about getting a quote for some flowers for the wedding, and as soon as the woman heard October, she cut me off mid-sentence. "We're working Mother's Day," she snapped, like "Hello stupid, you call a flower shop the day before Mother's Day?" "Call me or come in next week and I'll be happy to talk to you about your wedding, but we're swamped right now and don't have time." You're a flower shop and it's Mother's Day weekend. Busy, why, yes, I understand that. But it's not like Mother's Day is a surprise. And lady, had you just given me a chance to spit out that I only wanted to know about a certain flower and what it was going to cost to get them from you, you could've been done with me in 5 minutes and had a sale. As it stands, you've pissed me off and I'm not going to do business with you. Disagree with me all you want, Dear Reader, but even when you're super busy and stressed, you do not take it out on the customer or make the customer feel like they're infringing on your time. Phrasing is everything. Perhaps say, "Ooh, that sounds wonderful! Tell you what - we are just swamped here today since we've got the holiday tomorrow. Is it possible that I give you a call back tonight if I have a little down-time or perhaps talk to you next week? I can't give you the time or the attention you need right now, and I want to be sure I get all the details." How hard would that have been?

Melted.

2008-05-08T20:50:00.002-04:00

Irvine Robbins, of Baskin-Robbins fame, passed away today at the over-ripe age of 90.

In my day, Baskin-Robbins was the expensive ice cream. Consequently, I never ate it. And I never wanted it melting into my cake. Now, in my older age, I'm a big fan of ice cream, even with my cake, though it's still best when it's cheap (and I really love me some custard from Sheridan's). Bloomington's got some great ice cream stands; I can't wait to eat some.

Stars

2008-05-07T19:26:00.004-04:00

WTF? I look on my blog today and see stars at the bottom. If I wanted to be rated, then all I have to do is look at the comments. Or lack thereof.

Yeah, so it seems I've hit a bit of a dry spell on the ol' blog. I've tried, but lately, like Cara, I've just not been feeling it. Not much purpose to it now...well, I guess for Wiley there is, if he'd ever write (um, yeah, Wiley, I'm calling you out again, but you won't check this before you go to Zvornik again). But not for me. I like reading others' blogs back in KC, but can I go to the Blogger Happy Hour? Not so much. New job doesn't allow for much vacation time. Not one for spouting off on the new job - I don't really like to do that. I get to learn new words and remember the ones I'd forgotten, like thrombocytopenia. I really am quite clueless when it comes to typing motions and filing stuff with the court because I never dealt with them in my old job, so I'm constantly asking questions, and so far, they haven't rolled their eyes or given me the "haven't you figured any of this out on your own yet?" look. I haven't yet found Bloomington blogs....Indy has quite a few of them, and I even emailed them to ask them if they knew people an hour away, and they didn't. Sigh. Spyder posted an article about how some people blog as a form of therapy, and I agree that it can be, though it can be Debbie Downer if you're hoping for feedback and get none. Wedding plans are coming along nicely. I finally have a baker for the most important piece of food at a wedding, the cake. (You knew it was cake, if you've been reading my blog at all.) So, there's a bit of listlessness going on here. The jellyfish feeling is back, where I just lilt along the water and see where the tide takes me. And I hate it. What's the point of it all?

Guh-Rumpy

2008-05-05T20:29:00.002-04:00

Today was turning out to be such a great day, and then Wiley dropped the bomb: the person who had offered their bedroom to us and the cats for the month of August mentioned it to her roommate, who decided she didn't feel comfortable having a man in the house. So I went from being elated to being super grouchy in 2.2 seconds. It was all too perfect, so of course the bottom would fall out. So now the quest begins again for housing for the month of August, not so much for us because we can live in a tent, but for the cats, who have higher standards.

grumble grumble grumble.

Sunful

2008-05-04T13:20:00.002-04:00

Why is it that legs won't tan but arms will burn? I was out for not even an hour, and I have a nice pink on my arms, but my legs have nothing. They are stark white.

This stinks.

Pocitelj

2008-05-04T06:48:00.001-04:00

Melinda has called me out! Before last week I hadn’t posted because my life is boring. I write, I read, I research! The last week has been much more eventful. I spent Sunday through Tuesday in Zvornik attempting to figure out what is going on there and from Thursday through today I had the pleasure of a visitor from Austria. The pictures from Ulli’s visit can be found here. I’ve included a few of Ulli’s pictures as well as more of mine. Most of the pictures are from our trip to Pocitelj, a well-reconstructed ottoman fortress town built to defend Hercegovina from invaders from the sea. The trip with Ulli went off without a hitch, with the minor exception of the Bosnian museums, which were closed for the holiday weekend (May Day). This is the second time I’ve tried to go to that museum, but I’ve been thwarted both times. They seem to be open for about 4 hours a day on days when most people can’t visit them.

My trip to Zvornik was much more interesting and challenging(pictures here). Zvornik is a fortress city on the Drina River, which now forms much of the border between Bosnia and Serbia. During the war in the early ‘90s, Zvornik was the location of a well-known ethnic cleansing operation carried out by some of the more infamous practitioners of the crime. My adventures in Zvornik had little to do with the cities recent history and much more to the difficult economic situation in which the city (and most of the region) now finds itself. Here are the highlights in chronological order:

1) Sharing the highway to Zvornik with livestock. Apparently Orthodox Easter is “let your cows, sheep and horses wander on the highway” day.

2) Staying in a “class B” hotel. I’m fairly certain that I was the only person staying in the hotel. It was in a great location on top of a hill overlooking the river. The non-functioning television and warm water weren’t so great. When I asked if there was a way to use the internet, the guy pulled the cord out of the back of the phone and informed me that I would pay 12 cents a “pulse”. I just had to “do what I usually do” to get on the internet. I’m guessing I was supposed to use a dialup connection no one has anymore.

3) The mobile phone “beep of death”. I’d loaded my pre-pay cell phone with plenty of cash so that I could keep in touch with Melinda and meet my contacts. Since I’m still in Bosnia, it shouldn’t cost me anything to receive calls. Imagine my surprise when after talking to Melinda for only 10 minutes I hear the beep that means my phone is out of cash. It turns out that my phone was connected to a tower in Serbia despite the fact that I was still in Bosnia. So, I was roaming. Lesson learned.

4) Trying to get work done on holidays. I found out too late that Orthodox is a four day holiday in Republika Srpska.

5) The old woman on the bus who told me her life story for 45 minutes before she realized that I’m a foreigner and only understood half of what she was telling me (partly because of the language and partly because of the engine noise from the bus). 45 minutes of answering her own questions. I tried to answer… but my answers didn’t seem to interest her.

A Word.

2008-05-03T12:27:00.003-04:00

I ran some errands today, on Commencement Day. I drove through the university, and along my way, I saw students in their caps and gowns. Some were black; some were red with black stripes. There were parents walking with their children, couples holding hands with the wind blowing their gowns behind them. Today is a day of freedom for many students. Indiana U has about 40,000 of them, and while many will go home for the summer, many will not return. They are on their way to bigger and brighter things. It dawned on me today that a year from now, Wiley will be one of those on his way; that if he chooses, he will don the cap and gown, and we will join with friends, family, and thousands of other people to celebrate this happy occasion in the lives of our loved ones.

Today's graduates are confident and have the electronic wonders of the world at their fingertips. Better yet, most of them know how to use them, which helps in the "real world". Sure, on some things, they will be clueless until they get that job. College, unfortunately, does not teach you everything. You learn about history, about current events, about marketing, finance, how to sight-read, psychology, criminal justice, philosophy, how to swing a tennis racket or how to figure out your VO2 max. Some of this will help you, and some of it will be forgotten. Actually, according to my last job, we forget 75% of the things we are taught a mere three weeks later. Don't fret that you don't know everything, Graduate; you're not supposed to. Sure, people tell you you're supposed to have everything all figured out now that you're 22 and done with school, but life is a learning process that doesn't end when you leave the doors of your favorite (or least favorite) building. Keep an open mind to the situations you will encounter. Learn what you can and forget the piddly bullshyt. Do not get caught up in the rat race, and please don't compare yourself to your peers. You are setting yourself up for disappointment. Find your own inner compass, find what makes you happy, and go do it. Don't listen to the family members that tell you your chosen profession won't make any money. Let it go when your friend brags about their salary, which is double yours. There are more important things than money. Yes, you have to pay your bills, but do you need a Lexus SUV? Could you get by with something a little less flashy and more reliable? That's affirm. Get the job you want, get the shelter where you're safe and pets are accepted, make sure you can pay your bills and can save for retirement while at the same time spending some of that cash on a little fun. (I've found that living the 50-30-20 rule worked well for me in my previous life, where 50% of your monthly income is spent on bills, 30% is yours to spend, and 20% is to be put into savings for retirement.) Live simply so that you may simply live. Don't be afraid to try new things. Sometimes you surprise yourself when you try something - you may find that not only do you like it, but you're good at it. This new thing could be the start of a hobby or maybe someday a new profession. A friend of mine liked the Native American flute, so he bought one, and then decided he wanted to make them himself. He now has a very nice little business making flutes, and professional artists are using his product. But he just kinda stumbled into it. When you and your friends drift apart, you have a decision to make: try a little harder to remain in their lives, or let them go, and be glad you knew them for the period you did. Friendships come and go, and it's up to you to decide how much effort you're going to put forth to keep them going. Remain honest with everyone. Nobody is a mind-reader, and sometimes you really have to spell things out in order to get someone to see what it is you're trying to say. That's ok. I guess in this long list of what to do, it comes down to this: be true to yourself. Always. And enjoy the journey. Congratulations, graduates of 2008!!

Wiley, Time to Write

2008-05-01T22:00:00.002-04:00

You tell me you have this research to do, but you also need to be writing here! How about plugging your trip to Zvornik? (Peeps: look for the link to the right if you want to see a bare-bones view of Sserbia.) If you don't start writing, I'm shutting us down!

Rallying the Troops

2008-05-01T01:19:00.003-04:00

Tonight, my friends called me up and asked if I wanted to go with them to the Obama rally here in Bloomington. As I'd never attended a rally, I thought it would be good if I go. Doors opened at 6:30 for an 8:30 start, but we decided to leave home at 8:30 and avoid the crowd. It turned out to be a great choice. The Secret Service said I was not a threat, and neither was my purse. Barron Hill came out to try and pump up the crowd, and then Obama came out with his rolled-up white shirt and black pants. That was really all I could see because we were in the middle nosebleed section, except that I think he's got large feet.

Obama can be a very charismatic speaker. However, I learned that he's not big into details. For example, he tried to tell us to get out and vote on Tuesday, but he flubbed up the time. It seemed that he didn't read the sheet before and said "uh" a lot. That's not the image you regularly see on TV, so it surprised me he wasn't quite so polished. But then he was when he started describing Everyfamily that has their share of problems, such as being sent to Iraq with a baby on the way and not having health insurance and not having a job. He had a lot of ideas, but he didn't back anything up with proof of a plan. One minute, we're spending $10 billion a day, the next we're spending $100 billion a month on the war. He wants students to get a $4000 credit so they can afford college by doing community service, but he didn't really outline any sort of plan. So at this stage of the game, there's a lot of marketing, but the product is still a little fuzzy. I will say that he didn't attack Hillary much. He said that they have differences, which pale in comparison to the differences between Dems and McCain, and that the Dems will be united come November. After 45 minutes of hearing his speech, we decided to leave and go to Tutto Bene for some drink and conversation. A friend is driving to Nebraska tomorrow - I told them how to find the cheese curds. Another's parents from Germany were in town - I asked them how their flight was in German, but that was about all I could squeak out. My brain just wasn't working. I might have a part-time gig setting up an office for a rental business that's taking off. All in all, a good night, but oh goodness, morning is going to come too early, so I'm hauling my azz off to bed.

Today's Walk

2008-04-29T19:13:00.002-04:00

Lately I've been waking up between 5 and 6. And frankly, I'm sick of it. As if getting up at 6:30 isn't early enough?

I was worried I would be too sore to run, and I was also worried it'd be too cold. But I put on some leggings under my pants and tore out of the house, 10 minutes later than I was yesterday. I started off at a faster pace, which was bad - must start slowly because I burned out at a half-mile. Then I walked and then ran another half mile. The cardinals weren't out as much this morning, but a beaver was! Well, maybe a woodchuck. All I saw was his little brown body running back into the growth. It's really peaceful to get out among nature in the morning. Tomorrow's going to be really hard - it's going to frost tonight, and when I start out, it's still kinda dark. Oh well. Wonder if the birdies will be out. The worms, they will be dead. Poor worms.

Photos

2008-04-28T20:24:00.004-04:00

The New York Times had an article today on Ansel Adams and how people try to recreate his pictures. I think some people could accuse me of doing the same thing; I love taking pictures in black and white. To me, there's a timeless, ethereal quality. Don't get me wrong - I love color in photos, especially in fall. But I truly love the challenges shooting in black and white presents. Part of the article said that people may find disappointment because they can't quite reproduce the effect. And to this, I say that while imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, just shoot. Make your mark. Take hundreds of photographs. How many pictures do you think dear Ansel took of the same landscape? Methinks more than one. Experiment. One thing that I pride myself on is that I take photos of everything. Everything! What you see on the blog just scratches the surface of what I have on my hard drive. I have pictures of the veins inside leaves. I have tons of pictures of Wiley, of rooms, shrubs, rocks, the ground, the sky, buildings, streets....everything I can. Because you never know when you've got a masterpiece on your hands. The worst photo is the one not taken. So go play!

We're Going to be Washed Away.

2008-04-28T19:58:00.002-04:00

Man, this weather is odd. During lunch, my car was practically blown sideways, and then it poured down rain, and now the sun is out. I think Mother Nature is going through menopause.

Tonight I got some borax and sprinkled my furniture with it and pushed it into the floor where the wood doesn't quite meet the wall. On Wednesday, we vacuum. I've also washed all the blankets and my bedding and am keeping the cats out of my room. They hate that. They love the bed! But sleep last night was not easy. I think it was midnight before I went to bed, and 1 before I fell asleep. And then I had dreams that spiders were falling from the ceiling, and that I got to work and my inbox was overflowing with stuff I had to get done that day. So when 6:19 rolled around, my phone woke me up - Wiley got some more money for his phone so he could text me - and I grudgingly got up. He's currently in Zvornik interviewing people, which turned out to be a bad time because of the holidays (Easter and then another one I can't remember). His phone thinks he's in Serbia, so it eats money. But he's taking pictures so soon you (and I) will see! So morning came early, but I got up, fed the cats, and went for a run - a whole mile without stopping once! The trail I use was deserted this morning at that time - just me and one other person, then two on my way back. The trail is around 3 miles, but I only go about a mile into it and then the mile back. I don't have much time, especially if I walk it. But my arse, oh boy, what pain it feels. I think it may rain tomorrow, which will hamper my plans, but if not, I'll attempt again and hopefully the muscles will feel better. It's times like this that I apologize to my body for abusing it and not using it regularly like I should.