Twiddling.

A day can go so slowly when you are waiting for something to happen. I'm waiting for Wiley to call and tell me he's landed, but his last flight of the day has been delayed. In an effort to keep myself preoccupied all day, I've picked blueberries, taken a nap, talked to family (though I would've done that anyway because during the weekend my minutes are free), done a little online shopping, watched various movies and episodes of Nip/Tuck, ripped off a toenail that had it coming, read pages from a book, and checked to see if I knew anyone new on Facebook. It's this last preoccupation that has prompted me to write.

High school wasn't exactly a glorious time for me. I fared pretty well - was a cheerleader for a couple of years, played volleyball, dated a guy, was the principal 2nd violinist, seemed to have a fair number of friends....but I have only kept in touch with a handful, and I really could care less about the rest. My best friend and I had a parting of the ways, my mother died, my father continued his quest down the bottle, and I ended up living with my grandparents, who were cool, but I missed having a shower and air conditioning. But hey, I got a cat.

I noticed quite a few of my former friends on FB, and I'm faced with the option of pretending they don't exist or perhaps contacting them to see if they want to get back in touch. Many of them have children now, though some don't. One of them has what looks like a nude picture of Magnum P.I. as his picture, but I honestly think it's him. Many of them stayed in town, which is something that puzzles me - not just about my classmates, but people in general - I was never one who wanted to stay in my hometown. Jiminycricket, I'd been there for 22 years. Time to get out and see the world! You can always go home and visit - but to stay? Maybe I have it backwards and should've stayed home and visited the rest of the world.

And while I'm looking through their pictures, I wonder where some of them are (as the profiles don't say), and when looking at others', that competitive drive stirs.

Where does this come from? Here are people I haven't seen in well over 13 years (ohmygawd), probably will never see them again, yet there's this little voice that says, Well, look at what some of them have done. What about you? Look at your pathetic number of friends! Loser!

Can someone please shut this voice up? Apparently my booze of choice isn't working.