Sunday, July 6, 2008

Twiddling.

A day can go so slowly when you are waiting for something to happen. I'm waiting for Wiley to call and tell me he's landed, but his last flight of the day has been delayed. In an effort to keep myself preoccupied all day, I've picked blueberries, taken a nap, talked to family (though I would've done that anyway because during the weekend my minutes are free), done a little online shopping, watched various movies and episodes of Nip/Tuck, ripped off a toenail that had it coming, read pages from a book, and checked to see if I knew anyone new on Facebook. It's this last preoccupation that has prompted me to write.

High school wasn't exactly a glorious time for me. I fared pretty well - was a cheerleader for a couple of years, played volleyball, dated a guy, was the principal 2nd violinist, seemed to have a fair number of friends....but I have only kept in touch with a handful, and I really could care less about the rest. My best friend and I had a parting of the ways, my mother died, my father continued his quest down the bottle, and I ended up living with my grandparents, who were cool, but I missed having a shower and air conditioning. But hey, I got a cat.

I noticed quite a few of my former friends on FB, and I'm faced with the option of pretending they don't exist or perhaps contacting them to see if they want to get back in touch. Many of them have children now, though some don't. One of them has what looks like a nude picture of Magnum P.I. as his picture, but I honestly think it's him. Many of them stayed in town, which is something that puzzles me - not just about my classmates, but people in general - I was never one who wanted to stay in my hometown. Jiminycricket, I'd been there for 22 years. Time to get out and see the world! You can always go home and visit - but to stay? Maybe I have it backwards and should've stayed home and visited the rest of the world.

And while I'm looking through their pictures, I wonder where some of them are (as the profiles don't say), and when looking at others', that competitive drive stirs.

Where does this come from? Here are people I haven't seen in well over 13 years (ohmygawd), probably will never see them again, yet there's this little voice that says, Well, look at what some of them have done. What about you? Look at your pathetic number of friends! Loser!

Can someone please shut this voice up? Apparently my booze of choice isn't working.

8 comments:

Spyder said...

Hey voice! Ya you, shut the F*** up! That's right I said it. Melinda has friends. Now piss off!

Hey Melinda! My hubby flight is late too! He was suppose to get here just before 10pm. Now he won't be leaving Atlanta before 11pm. Sucks to be the 4 of us!

Melinda said...

WTF is going on in Atlanta??? I know it's busy, but sheesh!

Spyder said...

Half way home from Rochester NY! I'm going to do a post about the whole mess.

Melinda said...

Yuck. Apparently this was the wrong day to go to Atlanta.

This is when I think we could all use private jets. Care to go in on one with me?

meesha.v said...

I met my classmates in NYC who I haven't seen since 1984. It was actually fun and not as weird as I expected.

John said...

I made it home!

Logtar said...

I went through a similar thing when I first got into facebook. 90% of the people from highschool were cool, but some of those people I really still hold grudges for because they used to bully me, sounds dumb and petty, but they made my life miserable for some years and I don't think I could forgive and forget even if they came and apologized to me.

As far as comparing myself to then, I guess I am content with what I have accomplished in life so far... I quit measuring myself with others after my first job because I realized that giving that power to others is a waste of time. Someone will always have more than you, but it does not make them better or more successful, I measure that by those around me.

We can put a hit on that voice in your head :)

Melinda said...

That would be so appropriate since I just love the mobster movies...and now that Wiley's home, I'll be able to watch my Sopranos DVDs again.

Most of the time I do pretty well in not comparing myself to others, but maybe now since I'm still getting used to life in the US, it's a bit more noticeable. Or maybe I'm just a Renaissance Soul (reading this book now and I think it's quite true of me).