The Brain, It Goes

Well, we had our last meal tonight at the Sarajevo Brewery, and it was very tasty...curry and I really get along.

I've packed my suitcases. 44 pounds is all I get, so Wiley has to check a bag for me to get to Munich.

I had a strange dream last night...well, two. The first one involved my cat, Dixie, and she got lost, or killed. It was a very surreal dream, and I remember my heart racing, and that's what actually woke me up. It felt like there was an electric shock collar around my neck, and my heart just beat faster and faster and then I opened my eyes. Good thing - a minute longer and I would've started crying in my sleep, which would've brought Wiley running.

The other dream was a bit more pleasant, but no less odd. We were getting married, though not at the reception hall, but at something that looked like a church...all I really saw were the steps, and they were brown and carpeted. There were five of them, and then there was a landing, and then more steps on the left. Our officiant had been swapped out last minute, but they knew we were only going for a 10 minute ceremony. Well, someone forgot to tell all the people on those steps to the left who were breaking out into song like they were the creators of Jazz Hands, and they sang and sang and sang and sang. They even knew I didn't want them there, hadn't asked them to be there, and still they sang. One person in particular stood out - she was a short-haired, bright-blonde chick, and she had the biggest smile on her face. Then, because they were there singing at the wedding, they wanted $600 for dragging out the service an extra half-hour. I was furious. I stormed into the bathroom, only to look at myself in the mirror and notice that not only was my makeup missing, but my eyebrows were growing really long hair in the middle (think Borat but not quite as thick) and near my eyelids...like I had little patches of hair. Then, I noticed my dress. Gold velvet long-sleeved shirt on top. Skin-tight. Somewhat long, as it covered my azz and made it look huge. The skirt was red and lacey and fluffy, like something you'd see the chicks in the bordellos wearing. I think I may have even had on the black lace-up boots. I ran out of the bathroom crying, asking Wiley how he could let me be seen like this on my wedding day! Of course, being a guy, he was all, "Whaaaa?" and then I woke up. Don't think we ever got to say our I Do's, but I do remember handing him our rings to hold before I tried to get the show choir to stop.

I'd like to know what it was that I ate or took to have a dream that seems inspired by LSD.

No more eating after 7.